Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (4681)
On 06/01/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by dating a manchild (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21651) - you deserved it (1446)
On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to see my dermatologist friend for a free consultation on my terrible acne. During my visit, she said I probably won't be getting any more pimples. Excited, I asked her how she could tell. She replied, "There's no more room for it." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21642) - you deserved it (1591)
On 06/14/2012 at 3:34pm - health - by ultraattitude - United States
Today, while at my ex-girlfriend's wedding, I had to hear her explain how she met the love of her life. This happened in the four years we were dating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21625) - you deserved it (4402)
Today, I moved into a new house. The landlord insists it's OK for her to come up whenever she wants because she owns the house. We aren't allowed to lock the doors and she has two 8-year-olds. They come into the bathroom every time they hear the shower running. We have a clear shower curtain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21596) - you deserved it (2674)
On 06/06/2012 at 9:25pm - misc - by HELP - United States
Today, I found out that the only reason why I haven't had a relationship last for more than a week the past 4 years is because of my stalker ex-girlfriend, who has been keeping other women out of my life by making up horrible stories about me. She broke up with me 5 years ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21571) - you deserved it (1297)
On 06/17/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was having sex with my wife, when she fell asleep. She then woke up and started moaning, clearly faking an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (5710)
On 06/13/2012 at 10:21pm - intimacy - by biggieT - Sri Lanka (Western)
Today, I received an acceptance letter to Juilliard. After showing it to my mom, she tells me I can't attend because Robin Williams graduated from Juilliard, and he now has too much facial hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21280) - you deserved it (1241)
On 06/24/2012 at 9:57am - misc - by A.W (woman) - United States
Today, I came home to my boyfriend emptying his bowels into my aquarium. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21176) - you deserved it (1907)
On 06/12/2012 at 9:02am - love - by fledermausi (woman) - Hungary (Budapest)
Today, after having been constipated for ages, I finally forced out a week's worth of build-up. The excruciating pain reduced me to tears, and my boyfriend refused to drive me to the hospital, because according to him, I must have had anal sex with someone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21164) - you deserved it (1771)
On 06/21/2012 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was told off for not holding the door open for a woman behind me at work. Yesterday I was informed that chivalry is offensive to women, as it implies that they are not equal to men. I can't win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21084) - you deserved it (2468)
On 06/11/2012 at 11:56pm - misc - by JohnBlack (man) - United States
Today, I realized that the only times I get to hang out with my friends outside of school are when one of them accidentally mentions plans in front of me and they are obligated by social protocol to invite me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20971) - you deserved it (1993)
On 06/19/2012 at 4:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, I walked in on my mother stroking my cat and murmuring, "Don't worry, kitty. One day, you and I... we will rule." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20848) - you deserved it (1980)
On 06/04/2012 at 8:54pm - animals - by Scared (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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