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Today, I walked in on my mom and dad. It wasn't my dad. FML

#6970974
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26129) - you deserved it (2305)

On 12/27/2009 at 7:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that the crazy old man that sleep walks naked around my neighborhood every night is my grandpa. And he's not sleepwalking. FML

#17340162
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29191) - you deserved it (2305)

On 08/02/2011 at 2:46am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, while using a restroom in Walmart, an old lady with a cane hobbled in screaming, "I smell someone making sin!" She would not stop tapping on the door with her cane till I came out. FML

#20808725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38269) - you deserved it (2305)

On 07/28/2013 at 10:16pm - health - by DreamStatic - United States (Georgia)

Today, my new girlfriend told me I don't snore when I sleep. Which is funny, since during the last year of my marriage, my ex-wife would make me sleep on the couch because my loud snoring kept her up. FML

#5813153
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28883) - you deserved it (2304)

On 10/13/2009 at 7:07am - love - by quietsleeper (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, after buying over $300 worth of food and alcohol, I found out all my friends aren't coming to my New Years party but headed to the BIG party at the local club. The one which I sold my ticket to after my friends convinced me to throw a party instead. FML

#7041342
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26605) - you deserved it (2304)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:28pm - misc - by 20 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was 2, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML

#7835158
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (2304)

On 02/03/2010 at 12:03am - animals - by Brittany (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom baked cupcakes for my visiting grandparents. Later, I saw my grandpa chowing down on them. Even later, my mom demanded to know why there were a dozen cupcake wrappers on my bed. I've essentially been framed by my own grandpa, and am now grounded for a month. FML

#17707171
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29171) - you deserved it (2304)

On 09/09/2011 at 9:57pm - kids - by why?! (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

#17775098
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17221) - you deserved it (2304)

On 09/18/2011 at 8:23pm - love - by DeadScared (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

#19868224
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40330) - you deserved it (2304)

On 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML

#5209609
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38482) - you deserved it (2303)

On 09/12/2009 at 4:14pm - misc - by Ljsmitty - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got T-boned by a woman going 60 mph. I was unconscious for hours while a tube was inserted into my collapsed lung. Upon waking up my 16-year old brother thought it would be hilarious to yank out my leg hairs. FML

#1144667
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70207) - you deserved it (2303)

On 04/20/2009 at 1:53am - health - by robinhoood (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received an email from my potential employers at the zoo, saying that they won't be hiring me. This wouldn't be so bad if they didn't keep sending me the same email every two hours to remind me that I am still unemployed. FML

#16485621
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25471) - you deserved it (2303)

On 06/03/2011 at 4:22pm - work - by ryjacs - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Carribean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

#12096842
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (2302)

On 07/25/2010 at 1:45am - animals - by greaaaatt. - United States (Ohio)



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