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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found my first grey hair. How? My boyfriend stopped in the middle of sex to point it out. FML

#21274083
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34408) - you deserved it (3213)

On 10/09/2014 at 6:27am - love - by MoRuined (woman) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I got laid off from work. I was being escorted to the elevator when another coworker stepped inside. He said, "How goes it?". I said, "It goes". Then he said, "At least we have a job". FML

#761537
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65767) - you deserved it (3212)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:36am - misc - by Dude - United States (California)

Today, a customer came in who only spoke Spanish. I speak Spanish rather well so I helped the customer. She ended up buying $2300 worth of stuff. I got written up because not speaking English apparently "has the potential be offensive to other customers if they are not able to understand you". FML

#5033562
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55772) - you deserved it (3212)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:31am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, we had a lockdown in our school for 2 hours because a man was sitting outside our school in his car with a gun in hand. I texted my mom telling her what was going on and that it's on the news. She responded saying "I'll tape it". FML

#5605398
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30875) - you deserved it (3212)

On 10/02/2009 at 3:17pm - misc - by dannyboy1422 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that "going for a meal and going out clubbing" for New Year's means me cooking for my mates and driving them to the pub. FML

#7042607
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20787) - you deserved it (3212)

On 12/30/2009 at 8:32pm - misc - by stonesober (man) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, I was rejected for an internship due to 'lack of experience.' I have both an MA and a BA from a highly prestigious school and years of work experience. My would-be superior: a 24 year old without a graduate degree and only one year of work experience. She wore jeans to the interview. FML

#7137648
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29081) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/04/2010 at 12:29am - work - by screwed (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was looking forward to coming home to a freshly-cooked meal. Coming home to a cowering dog, two inches of water on the floor, and being handed a mop is just as good, I guess. FML

#7199180
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23619) - you deserved it (3212)

On 01/07/2010 at 1:38pm - animals - by Flooded (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, both of the roads leading to my small town were washed out by rising flood waters. I now live on an island in the middle of Wyoming. FML

#16357497
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34607) - you deserved it (3212)

On 05/26/2011 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I walked in on my brother smoking weed. He immediately tried to hide it by dropping it down his pants, still lit. Screaming in pain, he pulled down his pants. The ashes burned his knob. I had to take him to the emergency room. FML

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

#20889651
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47887) - you deserved it (3212)

On 09/21/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my teacher told us at least 7 different stories about his cat, Jeremy, and how much he eats. And he wonders why we never get anything done in his class. FML

#21097211
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35388) - you deserved it (3212)

On 03/26/2014 at 7:45pm - animals - by alicia75 - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML

#21289781
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32202) - you deserved it (3212)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

#21420551
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28830) - you deserved it (3212)

On 06/04/2015 at 1:59am - misc - by bloody hell (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)



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