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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (2946)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (2946)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my date sent me a text saying "I'm sorry we're running late, we will be there shortly." I replied asking what she meant by "we". She said her parents, who were coming along to chaperone. I laughed about two 27 year olds having chaperones, until she walked in with her parents. FML

#6258074
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34441) - you deserved it (2945)

On 11/11/2009 at 1:53pm - love - by Tragics (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, the gas station right in front of my apartment had people listening to loud music all night. I have this 3 hour test at 7:30am and didn't get any sleep. Worst of all, here in Brazil, calling the police won't help a thing. Instead of actually helping, they'll stop and join the party. FML

#5462375
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38663) - you deserved it (2945)

On 09/25/2009 at 4:33am - misc - by stupidpolicia (woman) - Brazil (Distrito Federal)

Today, I came home at noon from a long night out. I was surprised to see a woman I didn't recognize standing in my living room in a brown dress and heels. As I walked up to the door and knocked to be let in, the woman whipped around and I figured out who it was. My dad. FML

#4276253
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50221) - you deserved it (2945)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:40am - misc - by superfiedman (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26875) - you deserved it (2945)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, while working as a lifeguard, a kid took a dump in the pool. When I told everyone to clear the pool so we could clean it, another kid promptly stared at me, stood at the shallow end right where I was standing, pulled down his trunks, and peed on my feet. FML

#20696326
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44767) - you deserved it (2945)

On 05/30/2013 at 10:35pm - work - by heyyoitsapotato - United States

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
152 comments

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

#17741306
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31529) - you deserved it (2944)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:12am - love - by ppp - United States

Today, at the yacht club I work at a girl ordered a Portabella wrap. She asked for no cheese or veggies, just the Portabellas. After she got the sandwich and ate half of it, she sent it back saying she didn't know it had mushrooms in it. FML

#20840141
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43277) - you deserved it (2944)

On 08/16/2013 at 10:05am - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had been planning a family trip for months. My father had all his bags packed, ready to go in the car. He had my grandmother's ashes in his suitcase, and planned to spread them on a mountain. This morning our car was broken into and everything was stolen. The thief stole my grandma. FML

#3468815
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57346) - you deserved it (2943)

On 07/04/2009 at 12:04am - misc - by noyodel (woman) - Italy

Today, my parents invited all their kids and grandkids to join them on a vacation trip to the mountains; all their kids except me, that is. I'm not invited. But they did invite my ex-husband. And his new girlfriend. FML

#6572169
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43009) - you deserved it (2943)

On 12/02/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my friends are going to see "The Social Network". They talked about it all through dinner, even though I was sitting right there and I hadn't been invited. When I asked about it, one of them said, "You wouldn't be interested", presumably because I don't use Facebook. He doesn't either. FML

#13281486
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21921) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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