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Today, I was so totally stressed out at work that I took my car into the park and reclined my seat and shut my eyes. Soon I noticed the soothing sounds of raindrops on my car and I felt a little better for once. I opened my eyes to see that a bunch of birds had crapped all over my car. FML

#1935923
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38627) - you deserved it (3538)

On 05/14/2009 at 5:09pm - work - by overlandparkmommie (woman) - United States

Today, I was at volleyball tryouts when I accidentally spiked the ball into the fire alarm. The fire fighters did not look happy when they found out what had happened. So much for being on the team. FML

#13187772
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23747) - you deserved it (3538)

On 09/24/2010 at 9:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my step-mom informed me that she and my dad will not be attending my wedding because they will be at a NASCAR race. FML

#12663979
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45042) - you deserved it (3538)

On 08/21/2010 at 1:25pm - misc - by puppielover - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that the only reason he remembers my eye color is because it's the same shade of his shit after he's had a salad. FML

#18121591
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36337) - you deserved it (3538)

On 10/31/2011 at 4:06pm - love - by poopcoloredeyes (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32690) - you deserved it (3538)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43642) - you deserved it (3538)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I have pink eye in both eyes, the stomach virus, and a cold. I'm also sitting at work because my boss "doesn't believe in sick days." FML

#20735203
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54714) - you deserved it (3538)

On 06/19/2013 at 1:23pm - health - by sicksicksick - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43051) - you deserved it (3538)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, as I walked on to the bus, the girl I liked whispered something to her friend. Curious, I asked what was so funny. She said she never realized that when I got on, I shook the bus. FML

#21345001
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (3538)

On 01/27/2015 at 9:02am - love - by Nat3_2020 - United States

Today, I went through an entire roll of toilet paper in just over an hour. You win this time, questionable pork souvlaki. FML

#21483925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22617) - you deserved it (3538)

On 10/24/2015 at 7:46pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML

#21444253
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24402) - you deserved it (3538)

On 07/19/2015 at 11:02pm - health - by Bleach dat Blood (woman) -

Today, I learnt that the girl with who I've being going out for 6 months, has been sleeping with every guy around except one. Guess who? FML

#379
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41479) - you deserved it (3537)

On 11/24/2008 at 1:08am - love - by lectro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got a call from my boyfriend. He was at the police station for breaking into a model home to hook up with the girl he's been cheating on me with for the past 4 months. I was his one phone call. He was expecting me to bail him out. FML

#3986456
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59272) - you deserved it (3537)

On 07/23/2009 at 7:25pm - love - by Inga44 (woman) - United States (Iowa)



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