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Today, I met my new dentist. His teeth are worse than mine. FML

#17863482
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24496) - you deserved it (2544)

On 09/29/2011 at 1:20pm - health - by Vxale (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was invited to a party to celebrate my ex-fiancée's recent engagement. The party is at work, because my ex is also my boss. Her new fiancée is some guy she met while on a "business trip" that happened while we were still engaged. FML

#18142584
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31861) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/02/2011 at 9:45pm - love - by lebowski101 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was cleaning the windows at work and a guy walked in so I opened the door for him. After I opened the door, he stood there with his eyes closed and his arms open. I thought he wanted a hug so I hugged him. Apparently he wanted me to spray him with Windex. FML

#19409952
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17338) - you deserved it (2544)

On 04/05/2012 at 12:13am - work - by Kait - United States

Today, I was renovating the house, and my girlfriend asked, "Do you use electrical tape on electrical stuff?" Not knowing where she was going with this, I just gave her a puzzled look. She continued by saying, "Because it's not like people use duct tape on ducks." FML

#20158312
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17942) - you deserved it (2544)

On 11/11/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Danny - United States (Utah)

Today, I returned home from a two-year trip overseas. My mom's first words as she greeted me at the arrivals terminal of the airport were, "Your father and I are getting a divorce." FML

#20738269
51 comments

Today, my mom put a candle on in the living room. She told the family "how much she loved it!" My mom then went on the tell us that my dad got it for her and it must have been some cheap candle. I bought the candle as a gift for her on her birthday. Thanks mom. FML

#5808379
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20899) - you deserved it (2544)

On 10/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I just found out my dad got remarried a year ago. The woman is officially living with us, I got to have lunch with her alone today. I found out she is only 22, with a 14 year old little brother. My dad's 47. I'm 17, now with a 14 year old uncle and a mom that can pass for my girlfriend. FML

#4126370
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51401) - you deserved it (2544)

On 07/29/2009 at 2:22am - misc - by Beefballs (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was working with some shelter puppies transporting them to the vet's. I got all of the puppies in but one, and when I went to pull him out, I realized he had gotten car sick. Before I could stop it happening, he wagged his vomit-covered tail and hit me in the face. FML

#13123963
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20409) - you deserved it (2543)

On 09/20/2010 at 2:13am - work - by sandra - United States

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33756) - you deserved it (2543)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my roommate secretly edited a paper I wrote and recently turned in, so that it repeatedly refers to the famed author "Kneel Gayman." I'm positive that's not how it's spelled. FML

#20958782
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30833) - you deserved it (2543)

On 11/15/2013 at 3:30pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was checking into a hotel with my boyfriend. A few minutes after we get to our room, the cops show up to our door asking to see some ID from the both of us. The hotel staff had called the cops on us because they thought I was underage and he was going to molest me. I'm 21 and he is 24. FML

#5419115
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36177) - you deserved it (2542)

On 09/22/2009 at 7:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, the guy who got off when the elevator's doors opened had a very embarrassed look on his face. I didn't think anything of it till the doors closed. Turns out he was running away from his deadly fart. FML

#14242742
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (2542)

On 12/18/2010 at 12:56am - misc - by lizard (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was at the bakery I work at. A man came in to pick up a cake he said he ordered, but we could find neither the cake nor the order form. He yelled at me about being 'incompetent' before remembering that he had ordered the cake from a different bakery. FML

#15923303
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31896) - you deserved it (2542)

On 04/25/2011 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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