Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I stepped outside the house with my wife. She looked up at the sky and asked me in all seriousness if stars are man-made. FML

#20156290
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19230) - you deserved it (2977)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:39pm - misc - by baby, baby no (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I'm in the process of adopting a child. When I called my mom to tell her the news, she just said, "Oh honey, don't adopt, it's the worst decision you'll ever make." I'm adopted. FML

#21110479
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47317) - you deserved it (2977)

On 04/11/2014 at 5:58pm - kids - by babylove - South Africa

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33321) - you deserved it (2977)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up with a bloody nose and my lamp next to me in bed. Apparently I grabbed the cord of the lamp and yanked while I was sleeping, and it fell on my face. The worst part? My boyfriend saw it was going to happen, but didn't stop me because he thought it would be funny to "see my reaction." FML

#6313431
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25741) - you deserved it (2976)

On 11/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by oww - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35229) - you deserved it (2976)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my mom found a new fad, and now styles herself as some kind of modern druid. Normally I'd just roll my eyes and deal with it, except she's forced the entire family to go vegetarian, threatening harsh punishments if we refuse to stop "poisoning" our bodies. FML

#20943896
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37078) - you deserved it (2976)

On 11/03/2013 at 1:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

#21083808
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35978) - you deserved it (2976)

On 03/11/2014 at 3:21am - misc - by why me? (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got home late from work, so I decided to make myself a microwave meal. I pierced the plastic film several times. A little too loudly for my hateful bastard of a neighbor, I guess, because he called the cops on me, claiming he heard gunshots from my apartment. FML

#21077955
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41711) - you deserved it (2976)

On 03/04/2014 at 3:44pm - misc - by fuck you, jack (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got my boyfriend a pair of concert tickets for his birthday. He loved the gift, but turned to me and said "Do I have to bring you?" FML

#37272
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35365) - you deserved it (2975)

On 02/13/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by sarahhh (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mom confessed that she has to make up compliments to give to prove me wrong when I said she can never say positive things about me. FML

#16053231
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22455) - you deserved it (2975)

On 05/05/2011 at 2:13am - misc - by wow -

Today, I was walking down the street on my way to work, when an old lady's walking stick caught my leg and sent me crashing to the ground. She apologised for the accident and watched me stumble to my feet. I said not to worry. Just as I turned to leave, I could swear a smirk crept over her face. FML

#17930849
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24057) - you deserved it (2975)

On 10/07/2011 at 9:23pm - work - by Lucas79 - Australia

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (2975)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, my co-worker and I were having a conversation in Russian. Our boss overheard us talking, shouted, "I know you're talking about me! I speak Spanish too!" and threatened to fire us. FML

#20061927
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (2975)

On 09/07/2012 at 12:23pm - work - by PuddlePirate (man) - United States (Minnesota)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: