Miscellaneous: Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and...

By anon - 05/04/2017 04:00

Today, a guy grabbed my ass at the mall. I whirled around and went to sock him. He ducked and I accidentally hit the elderly woman standing behind him in the face. To say all hell broke loose would be an understatement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 678

You deserved it 740

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Same thing different taste

By grabber - 09/08/2009 23:43 - United States

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 343

You deserved it 10 998

Pranks for all ages

By atleastshelldiefirst - 13/10/2012 00:18 - United States

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 975

You deserved it 1 800

By Marc - 06/02/2012 21:43 - United States

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 926

You deserved it 2 189

No touching!

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:36 - United States

Today, at the mall my brother and I went to look at a vendor's items when my mom said not to touch anything. Thinking my brother was standing next to me, I saw him touching stuff so I smacked him in the arm and told him to stop. I turn to see that the old lady to my side was giving me a mean look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 011

You deserved it 23 321

Sorry, man

By Lii - 24/03/2015 01:04 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 081

You deserved it 15 419

By karmafails - 01/05/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 335

You deserved it 2 362

By rescuetheduck - 10/04/2012 19:26 - Finland - Joensuu

Today, I was at the grocery store, waiting in line to pay. A man jumped me from behind, and my first reflex was to brutally elbow him in the face. I soon discovered my attacker was one of the patients at the disability house at which I work, and he was trying to hug me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 936

You deserved it 7 273

Pervy perv walks

By Cashier - 09/03/2011 05:36 - Canada

Today, I was at work as a grocery store cashier. I felt a hand slap my ass. Turning around I saw an old man winking at me and I screamed. When my manager came to deal with the problem she didn't believe me and gave the man a $25 gift card for "the trouble" I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 275

You deserved it 3 795

Thanks, I hate it!

By pleasebackintomycaragain - 24/04/2009 02:12 - Canada

Today, as I was sitting in my car in a mall parking lot, an old couple got into their new van and backed right into me. The man got out and in broken english decided it was no big deal. He turned to leave and tried to pat my back, but smacked my ass instead. I was hit by a car, and spanked for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 333

You deserved it 3 338

By GreenMonstR - 25/04/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 218

You deserved it 4 771

MikuandKaito 24

Wednesday 5 April 2017 4:08

Aw, I hope that woman was okay. Sorry to hear about the sexual harassment too, OP. Seriously, why is it so difficult for some people to keep their dirty hands to themselves?

Melvin Lucrane 5

Wednesday 5 April 2017 4:38

I feel sorry for the grandma. Sucks to be her.

Comments

MikuandKaito 24

Wednesday 5 April 2017 4:08

Aw, I hope that woman was okay. Sorry to hear about the sexual harassment too, OP. Seriously, why is it so difficult for some people to keep their dirty hands to themselves?

Melvin Lucrane 5

Wednesday 5 April 2017 4:38

I feel sorry for the grandma. Sucks to be her.

jbuckets_404 38

Wednesday 5 April 2017 7:30

OP, next time kick/ knee him in the nuts.... (Sheesh per perv!)

ma19m 14

Wednesday 5 April 2017 20:59

that would be sexual assault. that would be basically be like what the man did to her

Razell 13

Thursday 6 April 2017 21:13

Self-defense, man.

Razell 13

Thursday 6 April 2017 21:20

Also (since we apparently cant edit any more) I really hate the "If you kill* him you will be just like him" trope. It has a far more limited applicability than it is ever given, and ignore the fact that sometimes returning [action] for [action] is the only way to <i>permanently</i> convince the original aggressor to <i>stop</i>. *replace "kill" with whatever thematically appropriate action one is attempting to persuade the other to not do.

gsouther 11

Wednesday 5 April 2017 13:01

Next time call the police . Grabbing your ass is sexual assault . It's not ok !

Seeya55 31

Wednesday 5 April 2017 15:42

The phrase "Look before you Leap" applies here. Always look first! I'm sorry it happened. I'm assuming he got away. He deserved to be charged for that. I hope the woman is OK too!

Xeebar 28

Wednesday 5 April 2017 19:23

I want to know more about what happened.

Infrno 10

Wednesday 5 April 2017 20:03

next time, turn around, flirt a little then knee him in the nuts. much more effective than turning and swinging.

dextroz 8

Wednesday 5 April 2017 20:05

What were you wearing? Also, that Grandma should be writing an FML entry here too.

Brightbulb 39

Wednesday 5 April 2017 22:24

why does it matter what she was wearing? yea there are proven correlations between what is written and harassment, but that still does not make it right. Shame on you for implying it does. and I agree Grandma needs to make an FML too.

GhostFox 33

Thursday 6 April 2017 0:28

And you have proven your jackassery with that one "question." Sexual assault, be it groping or anything else, is never appropriate. Putting the blame on anyone except the attacker degrades the victim, and shifts the blame to the victim rather than the person who refuses to rein in their impulses- which, there is no excuse for.

Razell 13

Thursday 6 April 2017 21:25

So what is the target of the assault supposed to do? Scream? Cry? Piss herself? Punching the jackass who grabbed her is perfectly appropriate response. Punching a random bystander is not. She did the right thing, but she needs to improve her aim. Telling her to practice her target selection in not "blaming" her for being a victim.

DanielleinDC 33

Friday 7 April 2017 20:37

I bet this guy has done this before and knows to duck when he assaults a woman.

DanielleinDC 33

Tuesday 11 April 2017 4:33

It doesn't matter what she was wearing; nobody has the right to grab her body without her permission.

RockPrincess26 16

Wednesday 5 April 2017 20:19

Today, I went to the mall. While in line, a pervert grabbed the rear of a woman in front of him. She turned around to punch him. He ducked. I got hit instead. FML