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Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML

#14645700
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29121) - you deserved it (2951)

On 01/20/2011 at 12:04am - love - by singleladynow (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML

#18936748
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38342) - you deserved it (2951)

On 01/28/2012 at 7:46pm - misc - by Come on - United States

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (2951)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boss called me over to his office; he wanted me to fire four hardworking employees. One of them was the girl I was going to ask out. FML

#20447887
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37195) - you deserved it (2951)

On 01/08/2013 at 11:40am - work - by AnonUser464 (man) - United States

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38757) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

#16476285
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (2950)

On 06/02/2011 at 11:08pm - work - by amf (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, a fight broke out between my 21 year old sister and our 6 year old brother. I tried to intervene, only to end up getting battered to shit in the process. According to my sister, he's going to hell for eating her candy. FML

#17539205
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25321) - you deserved it (2950)

On 08/21/2011 at 3:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out why I find damp spots on my favorite jacket. I appears that my dog often becomes very intimate with it. FML

#18827705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28690) - you deserved it (2950)

On 01/16/2012 at 7:33pm - animals - by Cathy - United States

Today, I went to an over-crowded grocery store. As I reached the front of a long line, I noticed that a cart had been abandoned in everybody's way. Trying to be helpful, I moved it to the side. An enormous woman then shoved me and yelled at me for "pushing her property around." FML

#20953468
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34730) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/11/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by PainStressLife - United States (California)

Today, a drunken guest in the hotel I work at has barricaded himself in the employee restroom and refuses to come out, unless I "promise to love him forever." It's 4am and I'm the only one here. FML

Today, I found cigarette butts at the bottom of the toaster. My mother has been dropping them in there for I don't know how long. FML

#16613518
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (2949)

On 06/11/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by Macy (woman) - Italy (Lazio)

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

#17895796
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30370) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/03/2011 at 1:58pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my son's lemonade stand was robbed by a senior citizen. FML

#20908703
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46803) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

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