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Today, the parent of a student called to ask me about a homework assignment. At the end of the call, she told me that I seem to be losing my "Asian accent" from when she first talked to me in the summer. I was born in the US, grew up in NJ and speak perfect English. FML

#21063588
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35983) - you deserved it (3082)

On 02/17/2014 at 5:41pm - work - by kdubz23 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23210) - you deserved it (3081)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked downstairs in a new outfit, after dieting for 3 months, and losing just over 20 pounds. My mom took one look at me and said "You'd better keep going." FML

#134892
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44764) - you deserved it (3081)

On 02/25/2009 at 5:06pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm a nanny. After the kids went to bed the dog wouldn't stop barking violently unless I held the end of a blanket for him to hump. I need a raise. FML

#16738818
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (3081)

On 06/19/2011 at 1:19am - work - by fattymcbutterpants - United States

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

#20611376
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39214) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/21/2013 at 8:27pm - misc - by Ellwood - United States

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42502) - you deserved it (3081)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while out for dinner with my parents, a woman, approximately the same age as my mother, repeatedly propositioned me for sex during the course of my meal. After declining firmly several times, she only stopped after my mother convinced her I was gay. FML

#21279658
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37027) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/17/2014 at 6:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got an email from a Scholarship Program reminding me that they had rejected me 3 months ago. Thanks for reminding me I might not make it to college. FML

#3772317
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44512) - you deserved it (3080)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:02pm - money - by nsJ (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my roommate for the first time. I walked in the door to see him in full Roman gladiator gear, screaming at the computer because he lost 18 knights. He also told me he wakes up every 3 hours to make sure his army is still intact. FML

#13521547
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36438) - you deserved it (3081)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was on my way home on an airplane. The guy I had to sit next to was reading a book with naked girls in it. About 15 minutes into the flight, he had an erection and started to giggle. It was a 2 hour flight. FML

#13124550
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33767) - you deserved it (3080)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:16am - intimacy - by Thomas - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was talking to my tattoo artist about how my girlfriend broke up with me. She had also gotten her tattoos from him, so they had talked quite a bit. He told me she had been cheating on me with her ex for two and a half months. He didn't tell me because he didn't want to lose business. FML

#12959841
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28736) - you deserved it (3080)

On 09/08/2010 at 4:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my birthday, and my present is that my mom is coming over to see me so that she can borrow three hundred dollars. FML

#16062957
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33439) - you deserved it (3080)

On 05/05/2011 at 11:41pm - money - by MrFerret -

Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side" and make sure I'm not sexually active. This is my punishment for being a virgin. FML

#17688285
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (3080)

On 09/07/2011 at 12:57pm - health - by AudraRose - United States



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Wednesday 28 January 2015

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