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Today, after months of looking forward to my new fencing lessons and speculating endlessly about the people who might be in my class, I went to my first lesson. I was the only one who showed up. FML

#17739609
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20797) - you deserved it (2948)

On 09/13/2011 at 9:30pm - misc - by ManinBlack (man) - Canada

Today, my five-year-old stepson announced that he is finally no longer scared of flushing toilets. Immediately after, I discovered that he's now decided that he's scared of the bathroom sink. FML

#20947649
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35331) - you deserved it (2948)

On 11/06/2013 at 11:33am - kids - by TheMommas (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at my grandparent's funeral, we were waiting for the pastor. He was fashionably late because he couldn't find his sunglasses and had gone to buy new ones. FML

#21194487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39364) - you deserved it (2948)

On 06/30/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by too cool (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

#13581194
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22286) - you deserved it (2947)

On 10/24/2010 at 8:36pm - animals - by danjoylovefun - United States (Colorado)

Today, after getting my appendix taken out, we had to drive over five sets of railroad tracks. Then, my four year old brother decided to punch me in the stomach because, "I took away his mommy for two days." FML

#11459471
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41632) - you deserved it (2947)

On 06/25/2010 at 8:30pm - love - by cduttl1230 - United States (Idaho)

Today, it took me 5 hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbors cat running all over the undry paint. FML

#16956212
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25686) - you deserved it (2947)

On 07/03/2011 at 12:47am - animals - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

#17766794
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27533) - you deserved it (2947)

On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found a tick half-buried in my nipple. FML

#19971025
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27894) - you deserved it (2947)

On 07/21/2012 at 10:30pm - health - by Luna - United States (New York)

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, I told a teenager to, "Walk please." He then threw his soda at me as he ran away. We aren't allowed off stand unless it's an emergency, so I baked in that soda for 30 minutes. FML

#19692881
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22006) - you deserved it (2947)

On 05/28/2012 at 10:05am - work - by emonsteadman - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to a paintball match with a group of friends, one of whom brought his dad along. His dad is a weight-lifting, wannabe alpha male fucknut who thinks that chokeslamming opponents is a legitimate close-quarters paintball tactic. My broken shoulder disagrees. FML

#20528184
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38406) - you deserved it (2947)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:59pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after having spent years staying in school, working hard to achieve good grades, and avoiding all the bad kids, my mom accused me of having no direction in life and complained about how I haven't given her a grandchild yet. I'm 19. FML

#20710020
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52394) - you deserved it (2947)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by luciazee (woman) - Peru (Lima)

Today, while working as a cashier, I was ringing up an elderly woman's massaging shower head, when she said, "If I had a man like you, I wouldn't need this." She then gave me her number. FML

#3500742
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43130) - you deserved it (2946)

On 07/05/2009 at 8:11am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband finally admitted to his mother he'd got married. No wonder she wasn't involved with the wedding. FML

#14352354
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26623) - you deserved it (2946)

On 12/27/2010 at 1:23am - love - by motherlessbride (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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