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Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

#4926157
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35772) - you deserved it (2855)

On 08/30/2009 at 8:58am - misc - by hihipanda (man) - Singapore

Today, I got a birthday present from my boyfriend's mom. It was ProActiv acne solution. He tried to make me feel better by explaining it's because she wants to be able to include me in family pictures. FML

#6636501
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34379) - you deserved it (2855)

On 12/06/2009 at 5:13pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was very cold and tired, so I took a shower to warm up and went to bed. The minute I hopped into bed, it collapsed and broke. I have spent half-an-hour rearranging furniture to get the mattress on to the floor. Now I'm cold again. FML

#19173617
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20416) - you deserved it (2856)

On 02/27/2012 at 7:36am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30307) - you deserved it (2855)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29080) - you deserved it (2855)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, my boyfriend said he couldn't come to my grandfather's funeral because he was at his cottage and couldn't make it. Later that day, when driving home from the graveyard I saw him walking down the street, with another girl. FML

#3995959
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50870) - you deserved it (2854)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Lyingboyfriend (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

#5482819
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32560) - you deserved it (2854)

On 09/26/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my job as a flight attendant. A passenger on my plane stopped breathing and turned blue. As I cleared his airways and was busy strapping an oxygen mask to his face, the passenger behind him tried to hand me her trash. Apparently I'm a walking trash can, no matter what I'm doing. FML

#4100528
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61175) - you deserved it (2854)

On 07/28/2009 at 3:29am - work - by skygoddess (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at work and was confronted by a customer wanting to get a "Nemo" fish. I explained that 'Nemo' needs to live in saltwater, not freshwater, like their tank was. The customer then turns around and grabs a perforated tank divider and says, "Can't I just split them up with this?" FML

#12924795
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21186) - you deserved it (2854)

On 09/05/2010 at 11:01pm - work - by christiner - Sent from mobile version

Today, I couldn't fall asleep till 3am and was woken approximately every hour or so. Why? I found out my new upstairs neighbors have a very active love life. She's a screamer. FML

#12404191
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32221) - you deserved it (2854)

On 08/09/2010 at 2:18am - intimacy - by SleeplessInSoCal (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was taking a shower for the first time in my new apartment. The shower head broke off the wall and slammed onto my head while spraying water everywhere. I tried to stop the water but only stopped the cold and got burnt by the hot. FML

#12638821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27357) - you deserved it (2854)

On 08/20/2010 at 2:14am - misc - by home owner - United States (New York)

Today, I went to retrieve my stolen wallet from the train station. After I collected it, I returned to the place where I parked my bike to find that my bike had been stolen. FML

#5941980
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30119) - you deserved it (2853)

On 10/22/2009 at 7:29am - misc - by UnluckyTeen (man) - Singapore

Today, a guy I've liked for a while asked if he could talk to me during break. He'd never done that before, so I was excited and said yes. As soon as we both sat down, he asked if I'd help him get a date with my best friend. FML

#14073142
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (2853)

On 12/03/2010 at 4:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Santa Fe)



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