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Today, I was taking the AP Biology exam. It’s strictly timed, yet my proctor spent 30 minutes (a third of the time we have) talking about his sexual relationship with his wife, who was also proctoring. I don’t know how I did on the test, but I now know my proctor had erectile dysfunction. FML

#1842179
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58383) - you deserved it (2998)

On 05/11/2009 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by JSF1234 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML

#16606089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26614) - you deserved it (2998)

On 06/11/2011 at 2:37am - intimacy - by dadisgoatboy - Switzerland (Aargau)

Today, I met my mom's fiancé. He's a nice guy, he's also my wife's dad. I'll soon call my wife my sister. FML

#20544337
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47252) - you deserved it (2998)

On 03/15/2013 at 1:31am - misc - by guy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was let down for a movie date. As I'd already paid for the tickets, I got my narcoleptic sister to come and sit next to me while she slept, so it didn't look like I came on my own. FML

#20895886
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31782) - you deserved it (2998)

On 09/25/2013 at 6:12pm - love - by cinemasaddo (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I had my 21st birthday party. My friends told me to have the party even though it had been 5 months since my actual 21st birthday. They asked me why I didn't have one originally and I jokingly told them it was because I didn't think anyone would come. Turned out nobody came after all. FML

#5926430
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30554) - you deserved it (2997)

On 10/21/2009 at 8:15am - misc - by JimmySmoothBeans (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my wife, daughter, and I get to spend the next 4 hours in the ER. Why? Because we're all throwing up at the same time. At least it counts as a family activity. FML

#11911346
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26418) - you deserved it (2997)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:17am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

#21202372
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41485) - you deserved it (2997)

On 07/08/2014 at 12:26am - work - by MaddyN - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35537) - you deserved it (2997)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, it was my birthday. I got ONE birthday greeting: from my bank, telling me they were closing my account. FML

#14785892
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28955) - you deserved it (2996)

On 01/31/2011 at 8:55am - misc - by Micawber - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was teaching a ten year old how to play piano. Halfway through the lesson, she made a minor mistake, which, trying to be a good tutor, I corrected her. She smiled up at me, paused, then slammed the key cover down onto my fingers. FML

#6245178
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36091) - you deserved it (2995)

On 11/10/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by PiaNO (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML

#15170920
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36286) - you deserved it (2995)

On 03/02/2011 at 12:24am - misc - by Acesup111 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, a private number called me telling me to "Beware the water bottles" as soon as a water bottle flew through my open window, hitting me. FML

#18408949
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25132) - you deserved it (2995)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:23am - misc - by waterbottlehit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (2995)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)



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