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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50717) - you deserved it (3552)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, I was driving my child to school when the car let out a huge bang. It shuddered to a halt. My son started laughing. I asked him what was funny but he wouldn't tell me. The car wouldn't start. I called RACV and they told me the problem. My son had rolled 9 golf balls into the exhaust pipe. FML

#6095339
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33489) - you deserved it (3551)

On 11/01/2009 at 1:44am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45425) - you deserved it (3551)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad shaved his head. This wouldn't be so bad if he didn't expect me to address him as "Captain Picard" 24/7 now. He won't answer me otherwise. FML

#17406072
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (3551)

On 08/08/2011 at 10:12am - misc - by MissArizona (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21235) - you deserved it (3551)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I arrived at the salon to get my hair done for prom. The lady at the front desk insisted I didn't have an appointment. After looking back on my recent calls, it turned out I called the wrong number and whatever asshole was on the other line played along. FML

#21424643
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27737) - you deserved it (3551)

On 06/11/2015 at 7:14pm - misc - by Badhairday - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to write a huge lab for my physics class. It's worth my entire quarter grade and I use a program on a CD for graphing. My mom thought it was a computer game and hid the CD. She can't find it. The lab's due tomorrow. FML

#5656241
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39526) - you deserved it (3550)

On 10/05/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by Bento (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend called and told me he had cheated on me with a minor. She is claiming rape and going to put him in jail. He asked me to help him pay for his attorney. FML

#13496641
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41487) - you deserved it (3550)

On 10/18/2010 at 8:03am - love - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was waiting for my boyfriend who evidently stood me up. I waited so long, the security came up and asked me to leave, because I was scaring the staff. FML

#13081753
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28295) - you deserved it (3550)

On 09/17/2010 at 12:43am - love - by anime_love - United States

Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML

#21094619
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37327) - you deserved it (3550)

On 03/23/2014 at 8:44pm - misc - by hannahg - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was in the middle of a shower, and downstairs I heard my 7 year old daughter screaming "Mom!! Help! I need you right now!" I panicked and ran downstairs, not giving myself enough time to put some clothing on. It was my neighbor at the door. FML

#21293802
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34926) - you deserved it (3550)

On 11/06/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by ozozl - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came back from vacation to find a packet on the company's stress management programs on my desk. I was sent the same packet over my vacation. I got the same packet from my boss as I left. All because I snapped at a co-worker who was throwing a tantrum over the Star Wars trailer. FML

#21347776
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25726) - you deserved it (3550)

On 02/01/2015 at 1:48pm - work - by Darth Binks (man) - Canada

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were in his car when he burst out crying, I thought it might have been because we had gotten into a huge fight and he felt bad. No, he cried on my shoulder for a half hour because he misses his ex-girlfriend. He's been writing songs about wanting her back. FML

#13805419
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34224) - you deserved it (3549)

On 11/11/2010 at 7:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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