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Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

#7334131
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29182) - you deserved it (3281)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:46am - misc - by melonhead (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I broke up, and he came by to get his things while I was at work. When I got home I saw that the only thing he had taken was my cat. I only dated him for 5 months, I've had that cat for 14 years. FML

#14078710
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33656) - you deserved it (3281)

On 12/04/2010 at 12:20am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43029) - you deserved it (3281)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was laying on the bed, naked, waiting for my boyfriend to come home since we haven't had sex in almost a month. Hearing him come in, I struck my sexiest pose. He walked into our room and tossed his backpack at me. Not only did we not have sex, his backpack gave me a black eye. FML

#8506785
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20600) - you deserved it (3280)

On 02/21/2010 at 3:19am - intimacy - by horny21 (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my husband decided to be helpful and do all the laundry, including pre-treating all the stains. He felt that Clorox Clean-Up with Bleach would be the most effective. FML

#8374594
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20855) - you deserved it (3281)

On 02/17/2010 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my husband of 19 years took our children out for dinner, told them he's gay, then sent them home to tell me for him. FML

Today, I found out that since no other procedures are working, I was required to stop eating, and drink a bunch of foul tasting 'goo', which will in turn give me constant diarrhea. This will then prepare me nicely for the long tube with a camera on the end of which will be shoved up my rectum. FML

#14630970
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21291) - you deserved it (3280)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got into a bad car accident, where I got severe whiplash, swollen knees, and cuts everywhere. I called my boss to let him know I wouldn't be able to make it in and he fired me for being 'not dependable'. FML

#15325313
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35891) - you deserved it (3280)

On 03/15/2011 at 6:57pm - work - by in pain -

Today, the job search agency that I use asked me to stop sending in my resume, as no one had hired me in three years, and that the situation was unlikely to change. FML

#17862767
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24052) - you deserved it (3280)

On 09/29/2011 at 10:32am - work - by crushed (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

#16676929
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42711) - you deserved it (3280)

On 06/15/2011 at 12:42pm - health - by Braxam - United States

Today, at the end of my shift with a long line of customers, the older woman I was checking out calmly said, "You should take a minute to fix your hair dear, we have all been talking about it while we waited." FML

#17818290
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (3280)

On 09/24/2011 at 2:21am - work - by Cashier (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML

#18336712
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (3280)

On 11/24/2011 at 12:07pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. The first thing my dad did was comment that given how pretty she looked in our photos, and compared to how she looks in real life, she's amazing at using Photoshop. FML

#20466661
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31131) - you deserved it (3280)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by dpap - United States (Iowa)



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