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Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37054) - you deserved it (3475)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32414) - you deserved it (3475)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (3474)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML

#4853130
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46608) - you deserved it (3473)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:53am - money - by smoothcoffee (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was at my friend's dorm eating supper. He and all his roommates are Chinese, and since I'm majoring in Chinese, I could understand what they were talking about. Too bad none of his friends knew that, and talked about banging me while I was sitting there. FML

#5518308
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27176) - you deserved it (3473)

On 09/27/2009 at 11:16pm - intimacy - by NiHao (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

#5186753
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35390) - you deserved it (3473)

On 09/11/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog farted so loud in his sleep that he scared himself and woke up barking. This afternoon I achieved the same feat. FML

#20011233
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20386) - you deserved it (3473)

On 08/09/2012 at 10:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom said I should start wearing push up bras to make myself look better. I was wearing one when she said that. FML

#20976101
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40977) - you deserved it (3473)

On 11/30/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by flatchested Sam - United States (Kentucky)

Today, on a flight, I needed to use the restroom. The passenger next to me was in a deep sleep, and was very large, so I couldn't get out by climbing over him. The urge got severe, so I resorted to tapping him on the shoulder. Turns out he had some nice reflexes and hit me in the face. FML

#21229781
72 comments

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26735) - you deserved it (3473)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to explain to my friend why it's inappropriate to conduct a phone conversation while simultaneously eating a bagel, listening to music, and taking a shit. FML

#14521055
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22053) - you deserved it (3472)

On 01/09/2011 at 1:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38604) - you deserved it (3472)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)



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