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Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17499) - you deserved it (2664)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

#20193519
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15829) - you deserved it (2664)

On 12/06/2012 at 6:30am - misc - by chinousmc - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost my virginity to my long time boyfriend and found out I'm severely allergic to latex. I also found out that my family doctor had been transferred to the ER. He went to play golf with my dad later. FML

#7257583
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15884) - you deserved it (2663)

On 01/10/2010 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Foxy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31394) - you deserved it (2663)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got really excited when I got an email from a guy I've been flirting with in my math class. Turns out he thinks I stole his calculator and wants it back immediately. There goes my chance. FML

#20880890
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36245) - you deserved it (2663)

On 09/14/2013 at 1:04pm - love - by crushed (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16392) - you deserved it (2662)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

#5127
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22512) - you deserved it (2662)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy requiring pet owners to carry dogs in common areas because someone's dog is peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

#6351761
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (2662)

On 11/18/2009 at 4:50am - animals - by Slivered - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I let my dad borrow my car. I found out a few hours later that he has had a suspended license for three years. How did I find out? He got pulled over and arrested. My car was also impounded. I'm a college student barely making it as it is. Guess who can't afford the impound fees? FML

#6256423
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28234) - you deserved it (2662)

On 11/11/2009 at 11:13am - misc - by brokeasajoke (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my sister is visiting. She used more toilet paper today than I have in two months. FML

#18587898
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20811) - you deserved it (2662)

On 12/23/2011 at 10:45am - misc - by jriese444 - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had a date with a woman. She brought her dog along. Every time when I touched her, the jealous male dog began to bark and tried to bite me. FML

#19253707
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (2662)

On 03/10/2012 at 8:41pm - misc - by Jimii Liu (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went with my boyfriend to his church youth group for the first time. I found out a girl there likes him, when she decided to pull me off him while we were hugging, and take my place. FML

#20903481
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40889) - you deserved it (2662)

On 10/01/2013 at 4:25pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my mum dismissed my diagnosed schizophrenia as "too much time with those earphones in". FML

#20897726
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35809) - you deserved it (2662)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:56am - health - by awkwardology - Australia (Queensland)



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