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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML

#161178 (973)

I agree, your life sucks (42478) - you deserved it (499239)

On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1228)

I agree, your life sucks (31470) - you deserved it (472588)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348 (827)

I agree, your life sucks (31968) - you deserved it (380790)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to be a diplomat, I slowly say "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

#618013 (863)

I agree, your life sucks (43332) - you deserved it (360232)

On 03/26/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by Tourist (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking when a man pointed a camera at me. I got bitchy about it, and said "Did I say you could take a picture?" He replied with, "No, but can you get the fuck out of the way so I can take one of my wife and kids." I turned around, and they were right behind me. FML

#185328 (447)

I agree, your life sucks (26605) - you deserved it (322275)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:33pm - misc - by PicturePerfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the manager. FML

#843065 (604)

I agree, your life sucks (16714) - you deserved it (286362)

On 04/06/2009 at 8:41pm - misc - by blovesg (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370 (808)

I agree, your life sucks (576) - you deserved it (277798)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was a TA for a history class and the class was taking a test. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. Then I took the note from him. It said "I believe in you, -Mom." FML

#142104 (982)

I agree, your life sucks (47105) - you deserved it (267076)

On 02/26/2009 at 10:30am - work - by Noname - United States (Michigan)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047 (1002)

I agree, your life sucks (403498) - you deserved it (240839)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793 (487)

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (223420)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was bored and decided it would be fun to pretend to be an undercover cop and pull over other cars. The first car I pulled over was a real undercover cop. FML

#1033363 (405)

I agree, your life sucks (19760) - you deserved it (185327)

On 04/16/2009 at 8:19pm - misc - by tvaladie (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14 year old boy. FML

#1617373 (535)

I agree, your life sucks (65707) - you deserved it (177278)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470 (397)

I agree, your life sucks (25099) - you deserved it (175692)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)