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Monday 10 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36036) - you deserved it (3918)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was so tired that I fell asleep on a bus. When I awoke suddenly, half of the bus was staring at me, with some people chuckling and smiling. I have no idea what I did. FML

#21084790
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42382) - you deserved it (4867)

On 03/12/2014 at 11:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a date. As I hugged him, I felt tingles. As a big believer in clichés, I thought it was the tingles of falling in love. Turns out, it was my allergic reaction to his cologne. I now look like I burned my face. FML

#21087087
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41785) - you deserved it (4870)

On 03/15/2014 at 3:35am - love - by Burning Love - United States (Arizona)

Today, I waited on a gentleman and his lady friend at my restaurant. They ordered some of the most expensive items on the menu, and I thought I'd get a nice tip. Instead, he tipped me a scrap of paper, containing a drawing of a cock jizzing on a caricature of my face, and the word "Thanks." FML

#21088206
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42218) - you deserved it (3759)

On 03/16/2014 at 2:53pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally gave in to my long-distance boyfriend's requests and texted him dirty things. Any time I would send him something, he would reply, "What?" or "What do you mean?" Either I'm not doing this right, or I'm in a relationship with the most innocent person ever. FML

#21086172
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45725) - you deserved it (6492)

On 03/14/2014 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

#21088268
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38204) - you deserved it (4085)

On 03/16/2014 at 4:10pm - money - by skyeraven (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML

#21084209
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39358) - you deserved it (6544)

On 03/11/2014 at 6:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

Today, I was tanning nude in my backyard, when I took a picture of our dog lying in the grass and sent it to my dad. It was only after I looked at the picture indoors that I realized my nipple had made it into the picture too. FML

#21086753
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37696) - you deserved it (32602)

On 03/14/2014 at 7:23pm - intimacy - by why - United States (California)

Today, I had to study for an important test but I could barely focus because my roommate had his music blasting at full volume. Since we get along well, I decided to put up with it. I just found out he forgot to turn it off and left over 6 hours ago. FML

#21083172
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39252) - you deserved it (11505)

On 03/10/2014 at 2:43pm - misc - by lovehaterelationship (woman) - Austria (Steiermark)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML

#21083870
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38959) - you deserved it (5775)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I marched in the St. Patrick's day parade. My horn has an inconveniently-placed spit valve that has to be drained frequently. At the end, I discovered every time I emptied it, it would spray all over the front of my pants. I marched an entire parade looking like I pissed my pants. FML

#21089223
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33720) - you deserved it (4929)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by Bandking (man) - United States (Ohio)



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