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Wednesday 8 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend found a letter I'd written to myself for moral support while we were broken up, in which I explained why we would never work out. Apparently I made a convincing argument. FML

#20645173
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35325) - you deserved it (34905)

On 05/06/2013 at 10:24am - love - by Alone (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58594) - you deserved it (4480)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42206) - you deserved it (3266)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML

#20660591
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47989) - you deserved it (2773)

On 05/13/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Confused (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37798) - you deserved it (2604)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my manager called me in to tell me I got the promotion I've been hoping for. He then said that since I didn't look excited about it he might have to rethink it. I was too busy concentrating on holding in diarrhea. FML

#20645244
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53004) - you deserved it (4215)

On 05/06/2013 at 11:25am - work - by perfecttiming (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided I would try this feature on my banking app which lets me deposit checks by sending a picture of it. The instructions say to rip the check after depositing. The deposit didn't work and now I've got a ripped up paycheck. FML

#20650425
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24235) - you deserved it (49027)

On 05/08/2013 at 6:21pm - money - by Checkless chick - United States

Today, while answering an "anonymous" survey about how to keep my school drug free, I told them they should stop drug testing the kids that they know don't do drugs and test the sketchier ones. They in turn drug tested me. FML

#20652571
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (13543)

On 05/09/2013 at 6:22pm - misc - by drug testing - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a client refused to pay after I mowed her lawn. Her reasoning? I had entered her basement "without permission." I require on-site equipment be provided, and she kept her mower in her basement. I only knew it was in the basement because she'd showed me, and told me where the key was. FML

#20653784
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49787) - you deserved it (3139)

On 05/10/2013 at 4:24am - work - by Wealthyparrot (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56843) - you deserved it (3246)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36795) - you deserved it (3174)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48713) - you deserved it (9284)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, my daughter posted a beautiful, touching status on my Facebook wall for Mother's Day. It wasn't so touching that she'd just copied and pasted the one I wrote for her grandmother and sent it back to me, unedited. FML

#20658557
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42785) - you deserved it (3839)

On 05/12/2013 at 1:21pm - love - by mothers (woman) - United States



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