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Tuesday 26 March 2013

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Today, I had to present a project for my science class. I began explaining my project; looking at all the bored people, I got incredibly nervous. My nervousness then caused me to laugh hysterically, causing my classmates to laugh. My teacher felt sorry for me and told me to sit down. FML

by esbemebe1113 / 03/27/2013 at 5:12pm / United States (Georgia) / Geek

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, a customer came up to me and asked if I knew where the make-up aisle was. I pointed him in the right direction but he just gasped and said, "Oh so you DO know where it is!" and walked away, roaring with laughter. FML

by apparentlytoougly / 03/27/2013 at 3:29am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I told my husband that a guy I work with told me that I'm the most beautiful woman he has ever met. My husband replied, "He needs to get out more." FML

by Candycane88 / 03/26/2013 at 10:12am / United States (California) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was on a girls' trip in Las Vegas. I met a cute guy at a bar and we were going back to his hotel room together. On the way up, he asked me how much it would cost. FML

by Hooker / 03/28/2013 at 7:58pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

by holycommander / 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl punched me square in the face, effectively leaving it with purple swellings because I called her boyfriend an "uncle". Said boyfriend IS my uncle. FML

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

by haku4u / 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my fiancé dumped me because he claimed he needed to "focus on his career and his engagement." When I asked him how dumping me would help with his engagement, he immediately replied with, "No, I mean my other one." FML

by t.hughes / 04/01/2013 at 10:50am / United States / Love

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

by whykarma / 03/26/2013 at 5:17pm / United States (North Carolina) / Animals

Today, after my boyfriend promised he wasn't cheating on me, I ran into him at our favorite coffee shop with the girl I suspected him of cheating with. When I confronted them, he acted like he didn't know me. FML

by Megan / 03/26/2013 at 3:04pm / United States / Love

Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML

by Anonymous / 03/29/2013 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, while on vacation, I think I met my soul-mate, and quite possibly the love of my life. My vacation is to celebrate my 8-year anniversary with my husband. FML

by not funny but :( / 03/28/2013 at 12:24pm / United States (Ohio) / Holidays

Today, my daughter got selected to pick music for a funeral. She only listens to Nikki Minaj. FML

by bear / 03/26/2013 at 7:40am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids