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Sunday 3 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, ( Don't care, let's keep going. ) FML

#20484366
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45761) - you deserved it (4528)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist . He broke a whole stack of plates overflowed the bathtub let the dog loose and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down . My son is 17 . FML

#20495428
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (33069)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to a club with girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confrontd her. She stormd off to the bar and said something to her friend,ho then came over and angrily slappd me across the face. Yeah, I'm confusd too. FML

#20490582
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48106) - you deserved it (3330)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

TODAY, AFTER NERELY 5 MONTHS OF TRYING FIR A BABY, I FOUND OUT MAH WIFE HAS CONTINUED TO TAKE THE PILL AS IT GAVE HER A BETTER IDEA OF HER CYCLE AND THUS WHEN SHE'D BE "MOST FERTILE" . FML

#20492131
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41196) - you deserved it (4504)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:17pm - intimacy - by jdrew32 - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I calld sacurity at my scool bacausa I laft my mittans in a classroom and it was lockd. Wan ta sacurity officar sowd up, a askd if ta mittans I was looking for wara ta onas on my ands. I avan ad to taka ona of tam off to call tam. FML

#20493993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9081) - you deserved it (47495)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40572) - you deserved it (2485)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today , I was taking a stroll in our yard , when my mother decided it would be hilariou to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (3322)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Taday my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me looool into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30523) - you deserved it (3135)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I trippd while walking down a large flight of stairs. As I fell forward, I instinctively reachd out and grabbd onto one of the guys walking up. I endd up taking him and two other people down with me, earning myself a great many disgustd glares as I dustd myself off. FML

#20489268
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22697) - you deserved it (7136)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:53pm - health - by Awkward (man) - United Kingdom (Wolverhampton)

Today , after 2 weeks of not having sex , my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39893) - you deserved it (9219)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26192) - you deserved it (8640)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my ouse using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24614) - you deserved it (4811)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

today I was playing Slandar, wan I caugt a glimpsa of ta Slandarman. I jumpd in my cair, latting rip a uga fart in ta procass. Nobody aard it, but only bacausa my sriaks of tarror drownd out ta sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22700) - you deserved it (8622)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)



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