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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41272) - you deserved it (5230)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, after a shower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in the shower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom chimed in with, "No, he does it before he showers, haven't you noticed how he locks himself in his room?" She was right on the money. FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44343) - you deserved it (13087)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend lost her virginity. I still have mine, though. FML

#20493004
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56216) - you deserved it (3676)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML

#20482645
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28591) - you deserved it (3457)

On 01/28/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by Creeped out (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (38316)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while using a public restroom to change my tampon, I made eye contact with someone looking at me through the little space in the door. FML

#20496769
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42052) - you deserved it (2594)

On 02/07/2013 at 4:51am - misc - by fviz (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML

#20490582
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51170) - you deserved it (3559)

On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36011) - you deserved it (6174)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34114) - you deserved it (4902)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48264) - you deserved it (4771)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35970) - you deserved it (2592)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML

#20493569
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32393) - you deserved it (6981)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12700) - you deserved it (37373)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom



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