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Thursday 24 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

2day It's Been Two Months Since I Got A Kitten. He Loves To Hide, An Then Surprise Me By Jumping Out Of His Hiding Place. It Was Quite A Surprise When He Launched Himself Out Of Mah Bag During Class. FML

#20483320
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47466) - you deserved it (6137) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/28/2013 at 2:52pm - animals - by Kitten_Love - Sent from mobile version

DURING MA FIRST DAY AS A MEDICAL INTERN IN A NEW WARD... I WAS PERFORMING A RECTAL EXAM. MY SUPERVISOR TOUGT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO BURST INTO TE ROOM AND SCREAM... "WO R YOU?! YOU DON'T EVEN WORK ERE... YOU PERVERT!" FML

#20486562
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47884) - you deserved it (3574) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/30/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by dr mamour - Sent from mobile version

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I lerened that I look amazing in a little black dress!! Now I have to figure out wat I'm going to tell my wife!! FML

Today, on mah shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

#20482313
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38575) - you deserved it (2535)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:36pm - kids - by andy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took mah new grlfriend to meet mah grandmother. We were drinking coffee when mah gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of mah grlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32240) - you deserved it (4566) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I had to drag my grandmother out of a store because she went up to a black family and started apologizing for slavery. fat FML

#20472335
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40916) - you deserved it (2766)

On 01/21/2013 at 11:08pm - misc - by daddy's girl - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything!! Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors!! I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book!! FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32394) - you deserved it (5492)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to buy a birthday present fir mah boyfriend . While buying him a sweater, the cashier tried to up-sale me by asking if mah boyfriend wore brief or boxers, cuz both were on sale . Not thinking, I blurted out, "I don't know, they just come off." FML

#20477493
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26889) - you deserved it (12710)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by awkwardturtle (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today , Faaling Lonaly Aftar Ma Racant Braakup , I Puttd On Ma Nicast Clots And Want Out Clubbing Wit A Faw Friands. I Brougt A Guy Back To Ma Placa , And Wa Got Intimata. It Was Going Wall , Until A Took Off Ma Pus-up Bra , Tan Panickd And Drunkanly Askd , ( Wara'd Tay Go?! ) FML

#20477055
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25175) - you deserved it (48273)

On 01/24/2013 at 7:54pm - intimacy - by chase (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I draggd my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me . He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing . Apparently, this is his revenge . FML

#20471580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16135) - you deserved it (46454)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I lerened it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing yur phone off the balcony and sticking yur cigarette into yur pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12154) - you deserved it (55602)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I Was Trying To Sleep Away A Fever,hen My Grandma Woke Me Up !! She Was Sitting Next To Me, Shoving Gummy Beres Into My Mouth Until I Startd Choking !! She Laughd, Ran Away, And Denid Everything !! FML

#20486320
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35281) - you deserved it (2910)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)



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