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Tuesday 22 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was debating which hurts more: child-birth or a kick to the testicles. Some guy spouted the old urban legend that a nut-kick is 9000 "dels", and giving birth is 57, so I proved that no such measurement of pain exists. His comeback was to sucker-punch me to the floor. FML

#20480007
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18748) - you deserved it (5790)

On 01/26/2013 at 4:51pm - misc - by go snope yourself (man) - United Kingdom

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20845) - you deserved it (1154)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I thought maybe I should go to my doctor because my hips crack every time I take a step. But she's also my recently ex-boyfriend's mom, so I have to choose between being in constant pain or having my doctor poke at my hips while asking me why I'm no longer dating her son. FML

#20472109
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19840) - you deserved it (4208)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:41pm - health - by ouch (woman) - Canada (Prince Edward Island)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24812) - you deserved it (478)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was telling my boyfriend how proud I am of him for finding a really good job. He interrupted me to tell me that my breath smelled like his cat's. FML

#20484067
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17080) - you deserved it (5801)

On 01/28/2013 at 11:44pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the last customer of the night shift handed me their money along with a wad of their hair. FML

#20484636
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19528) - you deserved it (1434)

On 01/29/2013 at 11:39am - work - by imwithapples22 (man) - United States

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24864) - you deserved it (2537)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24043) - you deserved it (3045)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)

Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML

#20483477
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6112) - you deserved it (23914)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:25pm - work - by faulty number - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend came over for a family brunch, during which he told my mother, in vivid detail, how he gets the shits whenever he eats kale chips. FML

#20483441
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (1824)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:02pm - health - by shitty situation - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my husband yelled at me for not doing any household chores. I can barely move my hand without suffering excruciating pain, due to recent surgery to ease my arthritis, and my other hand is as bad as ever. I can barely work this phone, let alone wash dishes and iron clothes. FML

#20476416
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22814) - you deserved it (4242)

On 01/24/2013 at 12:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML

#20473123
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7652) - you deserved it (36992)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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Monday 20 May 2013

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