Maybe you are...? I mean what do you expect from the day? Why is it that important to you? And why can't you be romantical all year round instead?

If he’s forced to be romantic once a year for what has become an absurdly commercialised and quite frankly grotesque celebration of romance, then maybe he’s got a point. Judge him on whether or not he is romantic and shows that he loves you all year round and let him off the commercial bandwagon that it’s become.

My husband took me to dinner for valentine’s last night for the first time in eleven years.

the worst two nights to go out is Valentine’s Day and New Year’s

the problem here is that he thinks valentine's day is something you do... for yourself. It doesn't matter a single bit if you "believe" in it (aka don't wanna spend an extra 100$). She clearly wants an excuse to celebrate your relationship. IMO find someone who actually wants to celebrate it too

Valentine's Day is a bullshit made up holiday where they can jack up the prices of roses and dinner. If he doesn't show you he loves you the other 364 days, he's the problem. If you don't appreciate what he does the other 364 days, you're the problem

It's valid that Valentine's Day is important to you. Talk to him about it. As long as he shows his love for every day, at least that takes out the sting of his ambivalence of this day. It doesn't have to be a commercial day, it can be seen as a reminder for many to appreciate their partners and important people in their lives.