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Saturday 5 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts . Upon waking up after my frst time using it, I forgot I was wearing it an thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed an split my head open on my bedside table . FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (11704)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

today I bought myself a pair of looool beautiful , hand-crafted earring with lighthouse on them. My mother was quick to point out the lighthouse look lyk dicks. I don't think I can ever wear them again. mega FML

Today, I visitd mah grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticd the Christmas card mah family sent them had mah face scratchd out. When I confrontd them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23649) - you deserved it (1850)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States

Today , mah son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking!! fat FML

#20446338
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29836) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today I got into an accident on motorcycle. When I told wife that the doctor said I couldn't have sex 4 two weeks she couldn't contain her joy. FML

#20447288
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42281) - you deserved it (8110)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on fir hours an I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24341) - you deserved it (9513)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today , my dad has decidd to that as a New Year's resolution , he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. mega FML

#20435279
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26949) - you deserved it (2055)

On 01/01/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by why? - United States (New Jersey)

Today , I realizd my girlfriend makes the same exact noise in bd and when she eats!! I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover!! mega FML

#20444730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27800) - you deserved it (3538)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while giving mah girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned an commented, "If only you could fuck this well." big fat FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33319) - you deserved it (8299)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I was walking mah dog when he decidd that he was too lazy to continue walking!! It endd looool up with me looking lyk a crazy dog lady carrying mah medium-sizd dog home!! FML

#20448490
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (4627)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY , MARKS THE SIXTH DAY IN A ROW THAT MUM HAS CALLED ME TO DISCUSS UPCOMING WEDDING. SHE'S OBSESSED AND HAS INTIMIDATED THE ACTUAL PLANNER I HIRED INTO GOING ALONG WITH HER PLANS. SHE'S SLIPPED UP TWICE ALREADY AND ACCIDENTALLY REFERRED TO IT AS HER OWN WEDDING. JUST GREAT. MEGA FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (3694)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, mah husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46101) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML

#20438672
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (9235)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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