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Thursday 20 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37090) - you deserved it (14262)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mother-in-law, who apparently made a copy of our house key without permission, walked in on my husband and me doing the deed. She went crazy, yelling at me for "defiling" her son. Last week, she yelled at me for not having given her grand-children yet. FML

#20405524
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59722) - you deserved it (4085)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by daughterinlaw (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36349) - you deserved it (5120)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37269) - you deserved it (2998)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37299) - you deserved it (4289)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50766) - you deserved it (3556)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (7917)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36346) - you deserved it (8540)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44218) - you deserved it (14519)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39424) - you deserved it (7220)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35243) - you deserved it (9569)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38077) - you deserved it (4349)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

#20408734
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (23772)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)



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