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Wednesday 19 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML

#20415295
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39890) - you deserved it (5521)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38072) - you deserved it (3054)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40881) - you deserved it (4614)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54306) - you deserved it (3842)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39167) - you deserved it (8140)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend is seriously mad at me for telling his cat what he got it for Christmas. FML

#20415555
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37150) - you deserved it (8676)

On 12/23/2012 at 3:24am - animals - by Kate (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML

#20413704
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45059) - you deserved it (14727)

On 12/22/2012 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by brunetteshavemorefun (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42923) - you deserved it (7687)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

#20411354
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36323) - you deserved it (9728)

On 12/21/2012 at 12:24pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39666) - you deserved it (4488)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML

#20408734
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40557) - you deserved it (24083)

On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML

#20413271
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53975) - you deserved it (4837)

On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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