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Tuesday 11 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I told mah boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He seemed excited and said we should make the baby fat so he can bounce her on his lap and watch her double chin jiggle. Just to prove he's serious he's been sereching fir high-calorie foods fir babies. FML

#20405554
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37892) - you deserved it (5933)

On 12/18/2012 at 12:33pm - kids - by fatbabysyndrome (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grlfriend and I were in the mood fir something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33160) - you deserved it (17050)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today,hile mother was driving me to school, her coffee started to spill. So like a normal parent, she held it over lap. FML

#20397679
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26115) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/13/2012 at 7:37am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML

#20198811
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (1655)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)

in history class, we were talking about Ancient Rome, and what childbrth would have been like back then. One grl askd in all seriousnes why they didn't use ultrasound machine to see what sex their babie were. I have to deal with people like this on a daily basis. FML

#20398310
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28142) - you deserved it (1824)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:44pm - misc - by surrounded by dumbfucks (woman) - United States (Indiana)

I steppd on te scale an realizd tat I weig more tan te amount of money tat I ave in my bank account. FML

#20199403
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25169) - you deserved it (7247)

On 12/10/2012 at 6:32pm - money - by ihncredible - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us an says to mah date, ( Girl, u can do so much better. ) Hearing this, mah date looks at me, nods, gets up an walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43897) - you deserved it (3459)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY, I NOTICED MAH WIFE PUTTED A BUMPER STICKER ON OUR CAR THAT SAYS "COWBOY BUTTS DRIVE ME NUTS." I'VE DRIVEN THAT CAR TO WORK EVERY DAY. FML

#20405855
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26441) - you deserved it (3677)

On 12/18/2012 at 4:44pm - misc - by idontevenlikebuttsthatmuch - United States (Arizona)

Today, I want Cristmas sopping for my cat. I still avan't bougt prasants for my family, yat my cat alraady as savaral small gifts undar ta traa and an outfit to waar around ta ousa. I raally naad a naw obby. FML

#20397631
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9158) - you deserved it (27927)

On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a lady on the bus cummd up to me and askd if she could sit down. Thinking she meant the seat next to me, I said sure. She meant my lap. FML

#20198778
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23063) - you deserved it (1955)

On 12/10/2012 at 5:13am - misc - by LLCK - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I started a new job !! I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh mah gravy!" constantly !! In response to everything !! FML

#20201125
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (1826)

On 12/11/2012 at 9:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

2day I was doing a presentation in front of my boss. On the last slide, someone had putted a picture of a man's cock. I later found out it was my boss who did it. It was his "good reason" to fire me. FML

#20199630
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29741) - you deserved it (1864)

On 12/10/2012 at 9:05pm - work - by golfstar11 - United States (Georgia)

Today, mah friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was mah turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." mega FML

#20201674
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29585) - you deserved it (2348)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States



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