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Sunday 9 December 2012

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Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

by Anonymous / 12/04/2012 at 12:01am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, it's my sixth day taking care of my family's seven animals while my parents are in Singapore. So far, I've emergency-called the vet twice, taken a dog to the vet once, and cleaned up liquid dog shit five times. FML

by KennyDidIt / 12/09/2012 at 8:18am / United States (Alabama) / Animals

Today, I'm insanely hungover from a long night of drinking. I'm going to my nephew's baptism in an hour as his godmother. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 12:26pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

by chinousmc / 12/06/2012 at 6:30am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over and administered a sobriety test due to an officer's suspicion that I was driving under the influence. I was completely sober, and, apparently, I suck at driving. FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 2:27am / United States / Transportation

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

by backtothelaundrettethen / 12/03/2012 at 6:40am / Germany / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Work

Today, I sent an email to my boss saying I'd fixed a glitch in our mail servers. He called me later, angrily shouting that I'd done a piss-poor job of fixing it, because my email had spammed his inbox with several hundred duplicate messages. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2012 at 6:16pm / United Kingdom (Somerset) / Work

Today, I wanted nothing more than to go home and get into bed. While I was unlocking my front door, the flimsy key snapped off inside the lock. A locksmith was called out, who did nothing but sadistically guffaw at my misfortune and crack sarcastic jokes as he undid the lock. FML

by Anonymous / 12/14/2012 at 6:12pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Miscellaneous

Today, after weeks of begging, I finally got an interview at my dream job. Turns out, they only agreed to interview me because they thought I was someone else. FML