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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I forgot my key inside my apartment. My boyfriend suggested we ask a neighbor to open it. I explained we don't all have the same key, to which he responded, "Well how come they all have the same doorknobs?" FML

#20834278
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42201) - you deserved it (4713)

On 08/12/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35973) - you deserved it (28021)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45559) - you deserved it (4528)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23969) - you deserved it (36381)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53174) - you deserved it (15774)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46102) - you deserved it (14931)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40299) - you deserved it (2769)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

#20825844
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45738) - you deserved it (5287)

On 08/07/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe (woman) - Sweden

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40551) - you deserved it (9546)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much for a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechless for too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out for this." I'm shocked and baffled too. FML

#20825212
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39907) - you deserved it (3890)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44636) - you deserved it (9600)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML



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