Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked out te girl wo always looks an smiles at me in class. I was surprised wen se rejected me until I found out se was actually always looking at te clock beind me, an smiling wen class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (4524)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

TODAY, MY 26-YEAR-OLD BOYFRIEND CUMMD TO MY APARTMENT TO SPEND THE NIGHT 4 THE FIRST TIME. HE BROUGHT A ( BLANKIE ) THAT HE INSISTD WAS THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HELP HIM SLEEP. THAT ( BLANKIE ) WAS HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S SILK NIGHTGOWN. FML

#20833570
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52269) - you deserved it (3954)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss . Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than wat a mother/son kiss should last . My mom actually had to tell me to "let go" . big fat FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34522) - you deserved it (26895)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

TODAY, I REALISED THAT I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO SUCCESSFULLY COOK A MEAL OUTSIDE OF WORLD OF WARCRAFT. FML

#20841839
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23961) - you deserved it (36358)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, mah boyfriend dumped me fir "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53140) - you deserved it (15770)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shrt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying cuz I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit."

Today, looool I movad into my univarsity dorm a waak bafora classas start!! Evaryona kapt giving ma ward looks as thay watchad ma mova my stuff in!! Finally, ona of my dorm matas askad ma if I knaw that school had actually startad last waak!! I didn't!! FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46075) - you deserved it (14924)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today , I went on a new medicine. One of te listed side-effects was "anal seepage" an I spent te better part of te day lauging wit my coworkers about ow it's "not a real side-effect". I found out tat it really is wile stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on te way ome. FML

#20839551
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40523) - you deserved it (9544)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man . As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way . That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for ( getting too close to his woman . ) FML

#20845971
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40280) - you deserved it (2765)

On 08/20/2013 at 4:38am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today... my mother yelld and yelld at me until I apologizd to our cat 4 not petting him when he sat on my lap. real FML

#20825844
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45510) - you deserved it (5267)

On 08/07/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by wekasdjkasldasdkasdzcawqe (woman) - Sweden

Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much 4 a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechles 4 too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out 4 this." I'm shocked an baffled too. FML

#20825212
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39877) - you deserved it (3887)

On 08/07/2013 at 6:49am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, mah elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went an askd if he could tone it down a little. He respondd by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to mah house, allhile his guests cheerd him on. FML

#20840549
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43102) - you deserved it (7199)

On 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: