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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working out in the gym, I spotted a very attractive girl. I decided to pick up the heaviest dumbbell to show off how much I could curl. She ended up driving me to the hospital because I burst into tears after tearing up my bicep and deltoid. FML

#20831608
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (60612)

On 08/11/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've had the biggest crush on. He spent the next ten minutes calling me delusional, said that I know nothing about him, and laughed that "this isn't Twilight, for fuck's sake". All he did when I started crying was pat me on the head and leave. FML

#20826991
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52465) - you deserved it (9176)

On 08/08/2013 at 8:54am - love - by names suck and so do I (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

#20830944
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50829) - you deserved it (3396)

On 08/10/2013 at 4:56pm - kids - by rachel (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23893) - you deserved it (36289)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52884) - you deserved it (15733)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40237) - you deserved it (11164)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

#20852966
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47691) - you deserved it (4144)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I really liked. The date was going great until he decided to try flossing his teeth with my hair. FML

#20835321
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47239) - you deserved it (3832)

On 08/13/2013 at 12:07pm - love - by hairless by death - United States (California)

Today, I was showing a new girl around at school. As we were walking through the parking lot she noticed a green jeep and commented "I heard the person who drives that is a total creep. Is he?" I said I didn't know who it was. It was my car. FML

#20846340
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49700) - you deserved it (5696)

On 08/20/2013 at 1:40pm - misc - by mycar - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

#20819762
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38271) - you deserved it (6339)

On 08/04/2013 at 1:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that my dad writes really weird and scary slash fiction involving characters from all of the CSI TV show franchises. FML

#20836611
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32698) - you deserved it (3474)

On 08/14/2013 at 2:41am - misc - by HoratioNo (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

#20815101
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46574) - you deserved it (3362)

On 08/01/2013 at 11:18am - work - by are these people even HUMAN? (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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