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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

#20852966
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43727) - you deserved it (3533)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML

#20839551
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36147) - you deserved it (8443)

On 08/15/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by stinky car - United States (Alabama)

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

#20815101
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45167) - you deserved it (3230)

On 08/01/2013 at 11:18am - work - by are these people even HUMAN? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42035) - you deserved it (9090)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42925) - you deserved it (4249)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I finally accepted my grandma's friend request on Facebook. I commented on a family photo album she'd uploaded, joking that the quality would greatly improve once she added pictures of me. My comment was met with, "Shut up you sewage rat". FML

#20857055
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (7172)

On 08/27/2013 at 9:29pm - misc - by sweetnan (woman) - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

#20840549
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40775) - you deserved it (6879)

On 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland

Today, I realised that I've never been able to successfully cook a meal outside of World of Warcraft. FML

#20841839
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22513) - you deserved it (34318)

On 08/17/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Thailand (Nonthaburi)

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, I got rejected for a job because they claimed I faked my entire resume. Their excuse? I'm too pretty to be smart. FML

#20848570
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44776) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:45pm - work - by baconbxtch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my boyfriend that, due to my low self-confidence, all my bras are push-ups. He yelled, "EVERYTHING I KNEW IS A LIE" and stormed out. FML

#20850669
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40767) - you deserved it (9936)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44287) - you deserved it (14271)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37511) - you deserved it (10096)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany



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