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August 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my little brother told me to give him my phone so he could play a game on it. I said no, because I was taking a call from a friend at the time. He then walked over to the wall, headbutted it, burst into tears, then told my parents that I punched him. They believed him. FML

#20830944
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50807) - you deserved it (3395)

On 08/10/2013 at 4:56pm - kids - by rachel (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss. Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than what a mother/son kiss should last. My mom actually had to tell me to "let go". FML

#20839296
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34399) - you deserved it (26792)

On 08/15/2013 at 9:06pm - misc - by deadman (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I asked out the girl who always looks and smiles at me in class. I was surprised when she rejected me until I found out she was actually always looking at the clock behind me, and smiling when class is almost over. FML

#20846650
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44793) - you deserved it (4449)

On 08/20/2013 at 5:37pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52849) - you deserved it (15728)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML

#20850650
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40216) - you deserved it (11161)

On 08/23/2013 at 10:12am - misc - by Demotivation (woman) - Germany

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids, when a girl in line next to us slipped a hand down her boyfriend's pants and started groping him. I politely asked her to stop, to which she snorted, "Why? Your kids've gotta learn the birds and bees somehow." FML

#20852966
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47664) - you deserved it (4143)

On 08/24/2013 at 10:46pm - kids - by pda (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a customer pulled a knife on me after I informed him that we'd run out of avocados to put on his pizza. FML

#20815101
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46552) - you deserved it (3362)

On 08/01/2013 at 11:18am - work - by are these people even HUMAN? (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my best friend actually had the audacity to try and one-up my suicide attempt story. FML

#20850438
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43563) - you deserved it (9410)

On 08/23/2013 at 3:40am - misc - by seriously? -

Today, I was yelled at once again for being in the school gym without a coach present. I am the coach. FML

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

#20833570
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52074) - you deserved it (3946)

On 08/12/2013 at 10:30am - love - by iwearsilkgownstoeatwaffles (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, after I had watched a few videos of myself, I realized the sound of my own voice is the single most annoying thing I have ever heard. FML

#20847659
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43756) - you deserved it (5246)

On 08/21/2013 at 10:08am - misc - by shut_up (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went and asked if he could tone it down a little. He responded by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to my house, all while his guests cheered him on. FML

#20840549
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42064) - you deserved it (7042)

On 08/16/2013 at 4:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Switzerland



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