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Today, I asked out te girl wo always looks an smiles at me in class. I was surprised wen se rejected me until I found out se was actually always looking at te clock beind me, an smiling wen class is almost over. FML
TODAY, MY 26-YEAR-OLD BOYFRIEND CUMMD TO MY APARTMENT TO SPEND THE NIGHT 4 THE FIRST TIME. HE BROUGHT A ( BLANKIE ) THAT HE INSISTD WAS THE ONLY THING THAT COULD HELP HIM SLEEP. THAT ( BLANKIE ) WAS HIS EX-GIRLFRIEND'S SILK NIGHTGOWN. FML
Today, my mom came into my room to give me a goodbye kiss . Due to the routine of my girlfriend doing the exact same thing in the exact same spot, I held the kiss way longer than wat a mother/son kiss should last . My mom actually had to tell me to "let go" . big fat FML
Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shrt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying cuz I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit."
Today, looool I movad into my univarsity dorm a waak bafora classas start!! Evaryona kapt giving ma ward looks as thay watchad ma mova my stuff in!! Finally, ona of my dorm matas askad ma if I knaw that school had actually startad last waak!! I didn't!! FML
Today , I went on a new medicine. One of te listed side-effects was "anal seepage" an I spent te better part of te day lauging wit my coworkers about ow it's "not a real side-effect". I found out tat it really is wile stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on te way ome. FML
Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man . As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way . That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for ( getting too close to his woman . ) FML
Today, during an otherwise promising job interview, I was asked how much I thought was too much 4 a "good hit of blow". I must have stayed speechles 4 too long, because the guy's next words were, "Yeah, you're not cut out 4 this." I'm shocked an baffled too. FML
Today, mah elderly neighbour was having some kind of house party. It was incredibly loud, so I went an askd if he could tone it down a little. He respondd by grabbing a deck chair, smacking me with it, then chasing me back to mah house, allhile his guests cheerd him on. FML
Friday 27 March 2015