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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while at a concert, I stepped into a restroom to use my nasal spray since my allergies were acting up. Apparently, someone thought that I had been snorting coke in the stall. I was escorted outside and had to wait for the cops until I could explain everything. I missed the headliner. FML

#20677338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45499) - you deserved it (3247)

On 05/21/2013 at 7:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42709) - you deserved it (20540)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I registered on an irritable bowel support group, unknowingly linking it to my Facebook wall. FML

#20666712
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39553) - you deserved it (10488)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43382) - you deserved it (3639)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, my partner and I were cuddling on the couch, watching TV when she smiled and murmured, "You smell like my dad." FML

#20688959
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41344) - you deserved it (4725)

On 05/27/2013 at 8:39am - misc - by docwinters (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43578) - you deserved it (5504)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42100) - you deserved it (3552)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I found out that me having a boyfriend is an on-going family joke. FML

#20694663
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45135) - you deserved it (3990)

On 05/30/2013 at 1:37am - love - by I'm a joke? -

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41895) - you deserved it (6474)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, we had a get together for work at a restaurant I've never heard of. After spending all week trying to make a good impression on my new boss and co-workers, I showed up in a pair of shorts and a Star Wars T-Shirt. Turns out it was one of the fanciest restaurants in town. FML

#20695797
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (50154)

On 05/30/2013 at 6:32pm - work - by Lizzie - United States (Michigan)

Today, I discovered that the "dish soap" my sister uses to clean our dishes when it's her turn, is actually a semi-toxic floor cleaner. FML

#20661400
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40566) - you deserved it (2836)

On 05/13/2013 at 7:05pm - misc - by emmingle - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43380) - you deserved it (12787)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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