Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Wednesday 7 May 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was trolling on a My Little Pony forum. I was midway through typing a big post, calling them all a bunch of attention-seeking losers who act like morons because their parents never loved them, when I broke down in tears, realizing I'd just perfectly described myself. FML

#21133397
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22209) - you deserved it (60386)

On 05/07/2014 at 5:25pm - misc - by I suck :( (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

#21138987
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (68726)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:46pm - health - by ShutTheFuCupcake (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44057) - you deserved it (4431)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I started going on and on about dogs and their different types of breed, behaviours, expectancy, etc. When someone asked me how I know all this stuff, I meant to say, "I fucking love animals", I didn't think it through and said, "I love fucking animals". FML

#21131182
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51770) - you deserved it (23263)

On 05/05/2014 at 3:53am - intimacy - by Zekrome - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I turned in my best painting yet for a scholarship competition. For once in my life, I was actually proud of a piece I'd done. I ended up losing the scholarship to some dickface who'd basically just glued together some crap from the dollar store and called it conceptual art. FML

#21132527
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45573) - you deserved it (5414)

On 05/06/2014 at 4:52pm - misc - by assgoblins piss me off (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my neighbor scolded me for "allowing" her son to be bitten by one of my dogs. This would be reasonable, except for the fact that her kid had jumped my fence and tried to steal a rattle out of my daughter's hands. FML

#21133303
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46373) - you deserved it (3079)

On 05/07/2014 at 3:16pm - kids - by Arthur - United States

Today, I was teaching my 4 year old daughter how to use "stranger danger". Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

#21134481
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50714) - you deserved it (6715)

On 05/08/2014 at 11:01pm - kids - by imnotastranger (man) -

Today, I went to a restaurant with my friend, where my credit card got denied in front of everyone. The staff teased me and made me sit in the restaurant while my friend begged for money outside. FML

#21138924
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46106) - you deserved it (7997)

On 05/13/2014 at 6:37pm - money - by Harry (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a guy asked for my number at the grocery store, but I politely told him I wasn't interested. He followed me home and took a shit on my doorstep. FML

#21137065
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55871) - you deserved it (7627)

On 05/11/2014 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML

#21138539
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49899) - you deserved it (4723)

On 05/13/2014 at 9:58am - money - by monkey2069 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

#21131413
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50525) - you deserved it (25227)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by PCJJacket - United States (California)

Today, I'm moving. While packing, I realized I hadn't seen my cat in a few hours. I called her and realized she was inside one of the hundreds of boxes in my house. I accidentally packed my cat. FML

#21139824
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44673) - you deserved it (16708)

On 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, while working at Home Depot, a customer tried to engage me in a conversation about which gardening tool would "hypothetically" be the best to kill his wife with. FML

#21132614
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45673) - you deserved it (3708)

On 05/06/2014 at 6:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: