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Thursday 9 May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was reading and started laughing at a funny part in my book. My mom then bitched me out because she thought I was laughing at her. She called me a liar after I explained myself. Her logic? "Books aren't funny". FML

#20647629
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46867) - you deserved it (3745)

On 05/07/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by Marmarfarfar (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sisters and I pitched together nearly $500 to send my mom to the spa for Mother's Day. We put the printed sheet with her info into a little box with our card on top. When she opened it, she freaked out and started hugging my dad. Turns out he switched the cards and took all the credit. FML

#20658076
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59168) - you deserved it (3801)

On 05/12/2013 at 8:09am - misc - by lachaisse - United States (Ohio)

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

#20649670
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72938) - you deserved it (5400)

On 05/08/2013 at 10:44am - intimacy - by oops - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I walked in on my son trying to carve a bong out of a watermelon. FML

#20656177
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41491) - you deserved it (7168)

On 05/11/2013 at 12:21pm - kids - by What the fuck, son? (man) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, after my mom picked me up from the mall, she asked me what was in my bag from Gap. I wouldn't tell her, and she ended up grounding me. It was her Mother's Day present. FML

#20645473
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61345) - you deserved it (4717)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I let my dad put my dollar in the slot machine for me because I'm not old enough to gamble. I won $200 but he kept it because he "put the dollar in the slot machine." FML

#20650676
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51420) - you deserved it (9668)

On 05/08/2013 at 8:07pm - money - by anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I woke up to my dad emptying a water bottle on my head, because I needed to "get up for school" or I'd be late. FML

#20662590
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32205) - you deserved it (23776)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:13am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44503) - you deserved it (9607)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I received a note from my creepy ex, whom I broke up with two years ago, saying how much he still misses me. I live over 100 miles away from him now. The note was hand-delivered to my new address. FML

#20665723
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48611) - you deserved it (3357)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:45pm - love - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52760) - you deserved it (3377)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61456) - you deserved it (6024)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after finding out that I would never be able to move my dominant arm again, I decided to talk to my best friend about it because it was getting to me. She responded with, "It really bugs me that you made this conversation all about you." FML

#20665722
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48188) - you deserved it (2932)

On 05/15/2013 at 7:43pm - health - by LordCrafte (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, after a night of heavy drinking, I woke up handcuffed to my bed. My friends who are responsible for this think it's hilarious and claimed not to remember where they put the keys. They took pictures, then left. FML

#20649461
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40996) - you deserved it (14783)

On 05/08/2013 at 7:05am - misc - by Sebastian20 (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)



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