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By BG1059 / Sunday 5 June 2016 02:19 / United States - Irving
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By  almost_there44  |  19

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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By  whatsausername7  |  16

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  cacheson  |  34

Except that he hooked up with said other person and definitely knows from personal experience it was a different person. It's not someone he met online.

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  cacheson  |  34

If she is in love with him I doubt that she would have behaved so coldly, and there's nothing in the FML that states what was entailed in the hooking up. So we can't really assume anything about those circumstances. Clearly they need to talk, but if you hook up with your best friend and they immediately go for the idea of a relationship with someone else (long-distance, no less) then maybe it's not the right fit.

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  almost_there44  |  19

#2-You have it wrong. OP isn't entitled to a relationship because she had sex with her bestfriend. OP never said she treated her best friend coldly, she just seems shocked that after hooking up with him he goes and looks for another relationship. It's like she expected him to know that she wanted a relationship. Things should have been established before they had sex.

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  chosha_fml  |  20

#10 In your scenario, he also did nothing to follow up. And if that was how he felt, asking her about starting a relationship with a hookup he hasn't known most of his life like her would be a manipulative move.

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  imkittycow  |  10

i dont understand how her best friend is doing anything wrong, he doesnt know she likes him? he was just reaching out for advice because shes a friend, not trying to push buttons he doesnt know about

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  cacheson  |  34

My point is more along the lines of she thought what happened between them meant something and he seemingly didn't; and considering they are best friends, you don't just hook up, with it meaning nothing, if there's already a close emotional attachment, even if it hadn't previously been romantic. He owes her at least a conversation about their current relationship (friendship) before asking her advice about another girl, especially one he hooked up with right after her as if she was unimportant. Also, maybe she really didn't try hard enough to pursue the relationship and should have; we don't know the details. But if he is using "advice about another girl" he hooked up with only a week after he hooked up with OP as a way of asking if she is interested in a relationship, that is equally as bad of a way to go about it. Regardless of the circumstances, neither is communicating effectively and my main point was that this may be an indicator that they're better off as friends than a couple. "He's not worth it" is more of "wanting a relationship with him isn't worth it".

By  almost_there44  |  19

Too many negative votes, comment buried. Show the comment

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  Tripartita  |  42

People say they're in love with others a few days after being with them; love after knowing someone for years in a non-romantic capacity seems more legitimate in a way. Besides, it's not like people opt into these feelings when it's logical. If you find you feel as passionately about somebody you're not dating as you've felt when you were dating others, why not call it love? It's unrequited, sure, but still love.

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  Comrox  |  18

I feel that being "in love" with someone involves the right mix of lust and love. Love lasts. "In love" can last, but doesn't often last a lifetime. You don't have to be in a relationship to be in love. He's her best friend - she knows him. I imagine they do a lot of things together - like couples do - without the romantic aspects.

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  almost_there44  |  19

#24: Please re-read my comment. There is a big difference between being in love with someone and loving someone. You can clearly know that you love someone before you sleep with them. In this case, they were not even in a romantic relationship; therefore, adding sex into an already established friendship without a clue about what either side wants made things awkward.

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  susanity  |  3

Because sex does not equate love. You fall in love with a person's personality, their passions and hopes, how they see the world, and all the little quirks that make them *them*. You don't need to have sex to know all those things.

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  gracehi  |  31

When you say "been with" do you mean "have sex with?" If so that's a pretty immature understanding what is required to love someone. I've made it a point to only have sex with men I already love. I don't know about you, but I fall in love with someone based on the goodness of their heart, not how well their dick fits in my vagina.

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  almost_there44  |  19

I meant being in a romantic relationship. Sex does not mean you love someone- we see that with one night stands and hookups. I know that I will never have sex with someone I'm not in love with, but some people feel differently about it.

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