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Monday 22 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to explain to a friend that the show writers for Glee did not write "Bohemian Rhapsody" and that Freddie Mercury did not steal the song from them. We're both 17 years old, and she reacted by kicking a chair at me. FML

#20626458
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46464) - you deserved it (3311)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my seven-year-old nephew challenged me to a push up contest in front of my girlfriend. He beat me, and then asked my girlfriend why she's dating a pussy. FML

#20617598
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54953) - you deserved it (22299)

On 04/24/2013 at 12:55am - kids - by BIGCHEIFAAA (man) - United States (California)

Today, it was my wedding day. My new husband and I, for a laugh, did our first dance to LMFAO's "I'm sexy and I know it" with stupid moves and everything. 200 guests. Nobody laughed. FML

#20618965
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52320) - you deserved it (29318)

On 04/24/2013 at 6:29pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54067) - you deserved it (12161)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. The only person who remembered was the creepy guy in my English class who keeps trying to smell my hair. FML

#20624972
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53705) - you deserved it (4147)

On 04/27/2013 at 11:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I agreed to go on a date with the creepy guy from my Economics class because I'm so broke that I could really use the free meal. FML

#20628307
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48177) - you deserved it (14693)

On 04/28/2013 at 6:24pm - love - by shameless - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was driving and a cute guy was staring at me. Flattered, I smiled at him, but he didn't even react. I realized he wasn't admiring me he was admiring my truck. This is the 5th time this week. My truck gets more game than I do. FML

#20622946
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49101) - you deserved it (7569)

On 04/26/2013 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43666) - you deserved it (3004)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50116) - you deserved it (9792)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my car was stolen from the parking garage, the same one I work at as a security guard. FML

#20625733
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41602) - you deserved it (25173)

On 04/27/2013 at 6:05pm - work - by naps aren't what they used to be (man) - United States

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52531) - you deserved it (4280)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45019) - you deserved it (3845)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46468) - you deserved it (6198)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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