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Friday 19 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike. Instead of coming to my aid, the driver just laid on his horn and screamed out the window for me to move my ass, because he had places to be. FML

#20609136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50195) - you deserved it (5075)

On 04/21/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44882) - you deserved it (6017)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59592) - you deserved it (13509)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47131) - you deserved it (3842)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, I learned what live maggots in chocolate cake taste like. FML

#20606960
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51954) - you deserved it (7336)

On 04/20/2013 at 6:51am - misc - by MaggotMother (woman) - United States

Today, my husband laughed at me for farting in the bathtub; I lied by admitting to it. The fact is that I have enough back-fat to create suction against the bathtub. FML

#20618145
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43778) - you deserved it (16825)

On 04/24/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband told me that he thinks I am getting a little heavy and may need to lay off the junk food. The ultrasound is hanging on our fridge. FML

#20595162
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58556) - you deserved it (5501)

On 04/15/2013 at 9:35pm - kids - by Mimi (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42780) - you deserved it (2935)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I told my dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase, you'll get over it." FML

#20592767
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53492) - you deserved it (10270)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

Today, I had a formal complaint filed against me for being outrageously rude to a customer. All I did was tell a customer that she couldn't use food stamps at the movie theater. FML

#20620985
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46932) - you deserved it (2719)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:37pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

#20598564
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69207) - you deserved it (13343)

On 04/17/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I admitted to my parents that I'm a pathological liar and I would like to go get help. They didn't believe me, and told me stop making stuff up. FML

Today, I tried to explain to my history teacher why Woodrow Wilson would not have called the Great War "World War 1" as she constantly claims. I was sent to the office for my insubordination. FML

#20601546
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39463) - you deserved it (4421)

On 04/18/2013 at 3:54am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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