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"That woman across the road has a red scarf. And that man is wearing a trilby hat. So therefore the culprit must be ... Bill."

Now you have no choice but to run everywhere, holding your arms up like you're gripping handlebars and making bike sounds. It's not as fast or convenient, but it's what your bike would've wanted.

Hopefully the police can catch the person who took it and you get it back soon. Sorry for the bad timing OP

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