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Friday 5 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was playing Draw Something with my girlfriend, when I decided to start a game with some other people. She immediately accused me of "cheating" on her, and still refuses to talk to me. FML

#20571699
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38381) - you deserved it (4807)

On 04/02/2013 at 2:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

#20577290
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61395) - you deserved it (5546)

On 04/06/2013 at 10:15am - intimacy - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong. FML

#20583566
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39938) - you deserved it (18015)

On 04/10/2013 at 1:41pm - work - by birdiebeth13 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51230) - you deserved it (5747)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I told my bald, goatee-sporting chemistry teacher that he looks like Walt from Breaking Bad. I quickly got sent to the principal's office and received a 3-day suspension for "slandering" my teacher by implying that he makes meth. FML

#20574865
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37551) - you deserved it (6449)

On 04/04/2013 at 4:07pm - misc - by me (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38923) - you deserved it (5167)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, our guest lecturer told us to imagine 25,000 dead koalas in our lecture theatre, and if that didn't make us emotional then we didn't care about them. She then went on a rant, during which she encouraged us to join the "koala army". FML

#20580464
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34004) - you deserved it (3302)

On 04/08/2013 at 10:08am - work - by save the koalas? uhh - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43156) - you deserved it (2800)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted. FML

#20584796
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41606) - you deserved it (18892)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48012) - you deserved it (5171)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, I found an invisible ink pen. I drew on my arms, thinking nobody would see it. I had an allergic reaction to the ink, and I now have three very large, very visible, red penises on my forearm. FML

#20579781
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16298) - you deserved it (62102)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by maturity - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me with two different guys. Her incredibly moving excuse was that she was getting "more experience" so she could please me better. FML

#20576526
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44408) - you deserved it (3672)

On 04/05/2013 at 6:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35690) - you deserved it (5639)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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