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Thursday 14 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working in childcare, we went to a farm so the kids could see how things worked. They started showing off prize winning cattle and when they bought out "Miss Stacey", the kids lost their shit. My name is Miss Stacey. FML

#20550321
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35477) - you deserved it (3128)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:00am - work - by seriously! - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my pet parrot learned a new trick. In addition to imitating my dog, and my voice when I call my mother, it can now imitate my sex noises, and likes to screech them whenever someone comes into the room. FML

#20540360
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28476) - you deserved it (8927)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

#20541928
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36519) - you deserved it (3628)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:41am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML

#20540639
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33354) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I found out that the lump in my wrist that keeps getting inflamed and sore is caused by sketching and using my laptop too much. Good thing I'm in my fourth year of studying to become a designer. FML

#20546879
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33242) - you deserved it (2925)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:08pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I started singing and harmonizing with the vacuum cleaner. FML

#20551821
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27709) - you deserved it (4561)

On 03/20/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I had a job interview. I didn't have any clothes suitable for the interview, so I went to the store early and bought some there. After the interview, I went to return the clothes, because they were so expensive. The hiring manager saw me. FML

#20541999
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16996) - you deserved it (42276)

On 03/13/2013 at 12:14pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I told my family I was divorcing my husband. My little sister asked if "we can keep him instead". FML

#20546016
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36246) - you deserved it (7427)

On 03/16/2013 at 11:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I found out through his Facebook update and a text message that my fiancé demoted me to girlfriend status. I was sitting in the next room. FML

#20547323
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34043) - you deserved it (3011)

On 03/17/2013 at 6:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40753) - you deserved it (3336)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, my fiancé had to perform his first prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I reminded him that he did fine on his first pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had my hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39028) - you deserved it (5945)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I finally made the connection between people in my apartment building flushing their toilets, and my running shower water becoming scalding hot. This wouldn't be quite as bad if there weren't six floors to the building, with twenty units on each. FML

#20550859
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28788) - you deserved it (2515)

On 03/19/2013 at 1:39pm - misc - by thirddegreeburned - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after three years with my boyfriend hardly ever going to any social or public event with me due to his social anxiety, I got to witness him improve his flirting skills on every girl available at his house party. FML

#20549117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35984) - you deserved it (4078)

On 03/18/2013 at 10:17am - love - by social anxiety my a** (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)



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