Monday 11 February 2013 
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Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11826) - you deserved it (32312)
On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States
Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17183) - you deserved it (9988)
On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23579) - you deserved it (4939)
On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia
Today, I had to use a dictionary before I realized I was being flirted with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19437) - you deserved it (7485)
On 02/14/2013 at 6:01am - love - by lex - United States
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9535) - you deserved it (37884)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I found out that my upstairs neighbor has a cat. I was blessed with this knowledge when she threw several piles of used kitty litter and cat poop over her balcony and onto my patio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22020) - you deserved it (1595)
On 02/16/2013 at 7:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)
Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8496) - you deserved it (24009)
On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33906) - you deserved it (3267)
On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25803) - you deserved it (1872)
On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19850) - you deserved it (5017)
On 02/12/2013 at 1:04pm - misc - by bblubblerfisch (woman) - Austria (Wien)
Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25636) - you deserved it (1688)
On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22753) - you deserved it (4203)
On 02/13/2013 at 2:33pm - misc - by please leave... - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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