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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23199) - you deserved it (15080)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

#20508810
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43946) - you deserved it (2887) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/15/2013 at 8:37pm - work - by Nico - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was super hungry and went to a Thai restaurant. The waitress left two small bowls of fried rice on the counter, and I thought they were for me. I ate one and a lady came over screaming. Apparently the small cups of rice was part of a religious ceremony. FML

#20503300
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26304) - you deserved it (16850)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:04am - misc - by Thai rice mistake - United States (California)

Today, my dad lost his mind over the meteorite incident in Russia. He's convinced that it's part of some big government conspiracy to cover up a UFO crash-landing, and now he won't stop dismissively calling us "sheep" and telling us "do the research" just because we don't agree with him. FML

#20508499
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25200) - you deserved it (2911)

On 02/15/2013 at 6:00pm - misc - by dadsadipshit - United States

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12820) - you deserved it (31316)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28578) - you deserved it (3903)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29867) - you deserved it (4995)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

#20503655
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27469) - you deserved it (2903)

On 02/12/2013 at 1:43pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccups 5 times so far. FML

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

#20492687
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32945) - you deserved it (14567)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27866) - you deserved it (3211)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, a state trooper ticketed me after learning I was ticketed for the same offense an hour earlier, namely driving with a broken headlight. The good news is that both tickets will be dismissed if I go to court. The bad news is that I'd have to go to different courthouses at the same time of day. FML

#20494464
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (3934)

On 02/05/2013 at 1:59pm - money - by halfmypaycheckgone (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

#20498986
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19913) - you deserved it (40784)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)



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