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Friday 18 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out the hard way that I'm severely allergic to latex. FML

#20477547
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42694) - you deserved it (4238)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:11am - intimacy - by swollenpenis - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I grabbed his butt to control his thrusts and got a clump of used toilet paper. FML

#20465889
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59263) - you deserved it (6826)

On 01/18/2013 at 5:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (2668)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32152) - you deserved it (5473)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37179) - you deserved it (5427)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18212) - you deserved it (38462)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to see my new dentist. He was really cute, so after the checkup I started flirting. He stopped me right after I asked him out, saying, "Being a dentist has its advantages, I can see the girl's mouth before I stick my tongue in it. And in your case, it's a big no." FML

#20470654
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20403) - you deserved it (40893)

On 01/21/2013 at 1:32am - love - by black and yellow - United States (California)

Today, as part of a charity project called Operation Valentine, I worked with 150 other volunteers to make care packages and Valentine's Day cards to send to the troops in Afghanistan, thanking them for their courage. My boyfriend called the cards "cheating" and now refuses to see me. FML

#20460276
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36787) - you deserved it (3568)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:23am - love - by helpme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 8-year-old sister matter-of-factly said that she's going to get married before me if I don't stop wearing track pants. FML

#20462592
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14864) - you deserved it (27228)

On 01/16/2013 at 1:28pm - misc - by Kendra_Nine (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45823) - you deserved it (7263)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, I learned my neighbor can access my wireless printer from his house after it started printing off pictures of what I'm assuming is his penis. FML

#20461046
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42127) - you deserved it (7010)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)



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