By well then... - 15/06/2013 05:04 - Canada - London

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML
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Top comments

_DudeGuy_ 16

That's when you say "I'll need it if you want to search more of me". ;)

252 13
IronMan3758 4

That's when the Mexicans in the trunk say "yes she will!"

176 17

Comments

_DudeGuy_ 16

That's when you say "I'll need it if you want to search more of me". ;)

252 13
Ambient25 24

who knows, it could be a "man purse", or a "satchel" for those in denial.

83 5
LulusLemon 8

Or OP could be a lesbian..

9 37
Fuhkyoo 17

what would a lesbian be doing with a condom in the first place, and second of all, how would a border guard know her sexual preferences?

79 1
redbandit9877 12

A lot of lesbians actually do use condoms, especially if you are sharing toys as to not be too risky.

32 4
Poppipuff 14

37- Who said the border guard knew about her sexual preferences ? Do you understand what the cop was implying ?

1 6
thehornytoad 7

damn, u sayin that and ur picture, man ;)

0 0
Fuhkyoo 17

of course I do 70, after all what do I look like, a moron who cant read the comment right above mine? it would seem I dont, maybe its just you.

1 4
hemz_fml 13

She might've been referring to the fact that you don't have a penis but you interpreted it wrong because I find it hard to believe there's so many people out there that bluntly disrespect someone like this.

12 3
BrotherPhil 35

US border guards? You bet they would. The author Peter Watts got stopped by them on his way BACK into Canada, and they tasered him because he said "what?" instead of instantly hitting the deck when they told him to get down. They then slung him in a cell for several hours, and kicked him out in the snow in his shirt. To add insult to injury, they charged him with assault for not hitting the deck, which means he can't sue or anything.

7 2
imtooshy 18

Should of asked her if you could borrow her handcuffs ;-)

78 12
Welshite 39

"Silently say"? Guys, OP is an alien.

48 1
spazz666 18

I was wondering why this wasn't the first comment. Hahaha

3 6
XxDevilxXGt 26

It's the "Boarder Patrol", they were searching for any sketchy looking wood, and they found that OP had none.

0 0
IronMan3758 4

That's when the Mexicans in the trunk say "yes she will!"

176 17
cristy91 33

Quite the scheme, from Mexico to Canada to the US. No one will suspect it... (For those on mobile, OP is listed from Canada)

52 3
MrConcise 34

For those on PC or too lazy to update their app, the most recent version of the mobile app shows country of origin.

19 1
Sandman366 6

40-Or those that like the previous versions more than the most updated. (I love taking screenshots of amusing profile pictures....they're about .7cm x .7cm on newer version...)

4 2
Ambient25 24

I still love the potential for what OP could have also said. Officer: "Are you carrying any illegal items across the border?" OP: "One second Officer, HEY YOU PENDEJOS IN THE BACK KEEP IT DOWN!".

14 3
Justy101 23

42 - I'm using the newest version. If you tap on the prof pic, it will fill the whole screen. Just saying...

1 2
Hollywoodgirl79 18

Well if she's working border patrol I can't imagine that she'd need it either. Unless she likes getting it on with the Mexicans she finds going across.

20 41
WhisperSoflty 20

Cue the awkward moment when you realize that the OP is from Canada... The US has two land borders guarded by border patrol, north and south.

49 0
Hollywoodgirl79 18

Crap, didn't see that she was from Canada.... My bad. Sorry guys.

4 12
hannahsnyder69 16

People can be such bitches

24 4
SWhimsynBubbaS 14

Am I the only one who noticed that OP didn't put closing quotations? :c

17 0
Trish01 23

I noticed that too. Along with "boArder" patrol and as many have pointed out "silently say". This FML is giving me an aneurysm, hope the admins fix it soon!

0 1
CeCe184 17

Not normally something a police officer would say .-. She must have issues

13 3
BrotherPhil 35

From the accounts, a lot of them seem to "have issues".

1 2
TheBrochure 22

#65 - Then again, this is also a site where people come to post about how they've been screwed over and the like.

1 1
perdix 29

"Yes, I will, I need to make balloon animals."

59 5