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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

my dad was elping me move stuff out. I'd askd boyfriend to deal wit sex toys and lingerie, but still dad sowd up later at new place, andd me a box full of tem all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21641) - you deserved it (36566)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work looool at a middle school. I've worked here 4 the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough 4 my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35888) - you deserved it (2780)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today... I was having a conversation with mah mother during which I describd something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word... so I grabbd the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enragd... threw the dictionary at mah head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31030) - you deserved it (3227)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, mah husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, ( Ned a fuck. Backd up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant. ) Love u too, hun.

#20466497
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (5389)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, Ma 14-year-old Son Sowed Me A ( Bird's Egg ) E Was Looking After In Is Room. It Was A Dried Up Dog Turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28350) - you deserved it (7434)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was making wedding plans with mah fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

Today, as per usual, mah mother went to see her psychic, who told her that one of her children is harbouring a "dark secret"!! Now we're all grounded until one of us confesses our obviously non-existent secret!! FML

#20457387
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35549) - you deserved it (2369)

On 01/13/2013 at 4:02pm - misc - by daughter of a gullible cunt (woman) - Australia

2day my daughter lerened a new song. This would looool be great , except 4 the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. mega FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34398) - you deserved it (2774)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

I took mah boyfriend to meet mah parents. As he was loading his truck I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet and so the frst thing mah mom said to mah boyfriend was ( You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up. ) FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29578) - you deserved it (7286)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realizd tat I'm so depressd tat I can't even watc porn witout getting upset about ow I can't get laid. FML

#20465100
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34816) - you deserved it (9769)

On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in the elevator,hen a big bearded guy stepped in, wearing a dress. It's not an uncommon sighthere I live, but my friend cracked up and asked him if he was wearing underwear. He took it as a challenge, and I can safely say that no, he was not. FML

#20452044
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36455) - you deserved it (6094)

On 01/10/2013 at 3:52pm - intimacy - by juvenile friends suck (man) - Germany (Schleswig-Holstein)

Today, I opened the door to go out 4 groceries!! Lying on mah doorstep was a pile of poop!! A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again an you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how!! FML

#20455625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31394) - you deserved it (3071)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, ma mum excitedly discussed wit me te prospect of starting a moter-son YouTube duo. Tinking se was joking, I went along wit it. Se is now installing a 24-our webcam in te ouse to record our conversations, wic se percieves as ilarious, an is going to upload tem. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32992) - you deserved it (7763)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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