Sunday 30 December 2012 
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Today, as every day for the past few weeks, my husband won't have sex. His reason? We've decided to have a baby, and he reckons that the longer he waits, the more competition there will be between his sperm and thus the better the result will be. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38853) - you deserved it (8120) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/26/2012 at 11:04pm - love - by Bouh (woman) - Sent from mobile version
Today, my 14-year-old daughter came home after sneaking out and partying. She was totally drunk, and started crying on my shoulder because some boy named "Thomas" has a small dick, and she had to fake an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (64243) - you deserved it (15803)
On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)
Today, my girlfriend donated most of my book collection because she got me a Kindle for Christmas. Some were signed, including my Harry Potters. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46945) - you deserved it (2630)
On 12/27/2012 at 11:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20733) - you deserved it (7097)
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. I was getting pretty horny, and I thought some dirty talk would turn him on. Amid my panting, I breathed the words, "Fuck me." He then stopped and said, "Excuse me, I don't like hearing that language." and wouldn't continue until I corrected myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37451) - you deserved it (6430)
On 12/24/2012 at 8:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my car was broken into. What was stolen? My daughter's $11 One Direction poster. What will it cost to fix my car? $1,000. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31001) - you deserved it (3151)
On 12/27/2012 at 11:58pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, as I have been for 10 years, I'm allergic to fruit. After an argument with my mother, she yelled, "Here, have a banana and go kill yourself!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (39885) - you deserved it (5296) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/31/2012 at 5:09pm - misc - by aelia_oups - Sent from mobile version
Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17034) - you deserved it (2586)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30807) - you deserved it (10190)
On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me by writing on my bathroom mirror in Sharpie. What did he write? "Hi, I'm Emily. I'm fat, ugly, and now single." FML
I agree, your life sucks (42788) - you deserved it (2903)
On 01/03/2013 at 1:42am - love - by Emily (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was driving without my seatbelt on, when I noticed a police car approaching. I panicked and desperately fumbled around for my seatbelt, only for them to pass by with just a funny look. Then it hit me that I was riding my motorcycle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19595) - you deserved it (32570) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while buying paint, I began to help an elderly woman working to lift some heavy boxes. She told me what a nice young lady I was. Then her boss came over, screamed at her for being lazy and fired her. She cried. So did I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39101) - you deserved it (2495)
On 12/31/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Nova Scotia)
Today, after giving my husband a new video game that he's been wanting, along with homemade waffles and a surprise blowjob, he gave me my gift: two packets of ramen noodles, and toilet paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (3160)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:25pm - love - by annie_nk (woman) - United States (Utah)
Friday 24 May 2013
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