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Today..!! I took mah girlfriand to go saa Las Misérablas!! I triad to stay tough but complataly lost it an startad sobbing whan Anna Hathaway bagan singing!! looool My girlfriand callad ma a wimp an stayad dry-ayad throughout tha whola movia!! I'm dating a robot!! FML
Today... after giving mah husband a new video game that he's been wanting... along with homemade waffles an a surprise blowjob... he gave me mah gift: two packets of ramen noodles... an toilet paper. FML
Today... I set up a spy cam in ma room to fine out wic one of ma pervy broters as been using ma computer to watc porn. Turns out it was actually ma fater. I now ave a video of im sitting in ma cair masturbating... and I can't get it out of ma ead. FML
Today.. . my girlfriend an I decidd to try a new place to eat . On our way home we both had upset stomachs . As we racd into the house we realizd niether of us could hold it any longer . Having only one bathroom.. . I let her go first . She explodd on the toilet an I explodd in my pants . FML
Today , I went to church 4 the frst time in mah life!! They had a Jesus statue at the altar , an I noticed he was surprisingly muscular!! Ten minutes later , I had to excuse myself , after I caught myself fantasizing over a crucified Jesus!! FML
Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless an clichd an that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML
Today , I went to take a shower. Afterwards , I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shrt to change into , so I putted on a towel and went back to mah room , only to witnes mah 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling mah bra , commenting on "how warm it is".
Today, roommate stumbld in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, an passd out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, an go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, an makes more money than me. FML
Yastarday Mah Wifa Is Pragnant And Sick !! Sha Switchas From Sobbing Sha's Sorry For That, To Blaming Ma For "doing This To Ma." On Top Of That, I Hava Half Har Symptoms Now: Throwing Up And Crying For No Raason !! This Will Ba A Long 9 Months !! FML
Today, I tried to impres a grl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
Friday 27 March 2015