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Thursday 29 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23997) - you deserved it (2130)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML

#20181011
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18189) - you deserved it (1362)

On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

#20181043
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25337) - you deserved it (1366)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19909) - you deserved it (1769)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17805) - you deserved it (2684)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML

#20188746
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16923) - you deserved it (1521)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28602) - you deserved it (2754)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6640) - you deserved it (27927)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, drunk at a party, I leaned through a window to throw up. I was outside. FML

#20182175
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7931) - you deserved it (26335) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I gave a homeless man my last bit of spare change so he could get on the bus. Just as I was about to get on too, I realized I'd lost my bus card. I had to get off the bus and watch as the man waved at me through the window. FML

#20192452
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17643) - you deserved it (1873)

On 12/05/2012 at 3:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, after telling my young kids all about Santa, his reindeer and his sleigh, we saw him. Smoking a cigarette in the beat-up car next to ours at a red light. FML

#20192265
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18579) - you deserved it (3640)

On 12/05/2012 at 11:50am - kids - by JessThompson - Canada (Ontario)



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