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Friday 23 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

#20177886
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20809) - you deserved it (881)

On 11/25/2012 at 8:28am - money - by WritingWrongs - United States

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9024) - you deserved it (25161)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

#20170839
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7689) - you deserved it (18911)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took a picture of myself wearing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples, captioned, "I hope you enjoyed your dinner, now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11600) - you deserved it (28624)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my room-mates were inspired by a TV show to make a "douchebag jar", into which we have to put money every time we say something obnoxious. It seems like I can't open my mouth without having to cough up £10. FML

#20176638
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4935) - you deserved it (14881)

On 11/24/2012 at 1:41pm - misc - by kay51 (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21403) - you deserved it (3604)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I was walking through a crosswalk when a lady in a car looked at me with a horrified expression and then hit her door locks repeatedly. FML

#20176506
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (1744)

On 11/24/2012 at 11:35am - misc - by lobstercola - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19717) - you deserved it (1206)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was messing around with my wife. I grabbed her boobs and said, "Honk honk". Unbeknownst to me, my daughter saw it. Now my 3-year-old girl runs around honking everyone. Even her grandparents. FML

#20172916
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8778) - you deserved it (22130)

On 11/21/2012 at 8:20pm - kids - by piemasterzim (man) - Canada

Today, it's our third anniversary. After a candlelit dinner and a midnight boat ride, my wife turned down sex, because "it's too cliché." FML

#20179174
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (1919)

On 11/26/2012 at 12:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the woman from My Strange Addiction who can't stop picking her scabs is married. I've been single for two years and I don't even pick my nose. FML

#20179069
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14282) - you deserved it (2477)

On 11/25/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by Sam (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12425) - you deserved it (4717)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



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