Saturday 3 November 2012 
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Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19790) - you deserved it (1193)
On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my extremely overweight roommate decided to not only be a nudist, but also to get in shape for his new lifestyle. He's been doing naked lunges in our room for the last twenty minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17494) - you deserved it (1113)
On 11/03/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by xXfloatingshitlogXx (woman) - Norway (Akershus)
Today, despite my pleading, my boyfriend mounted a set of bullhorns above our headboard. Guess what came crashing down on our heads at 2am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15890) - you deserved it (1688)
On 11/07/2012 at 10:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, while in class, I was called down to the office. The principal showed me a video of 2 guys fighting in the school parking lot. I'm accused of being one of those guys. I'm a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22056) - you deserved it (1265)
On 11/08/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by mayerstexmex69 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14613) - you deserved it (1692)
On 11/05/2012 at 5:11pm - money - by Brooklyn - United States (Oregon)
Today, I started my new job as the only IT tech for my office. My first task: untangling the hundred mice the previous tech tied together for "fun". FML
I agree, your life sucks (14271) - you deserved it (885)
On 11/06/2012 at 1:29pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I flew back home from out of state. When I got back to my house, my bed, furniture, and TV were gone. My girlfriend changed her number and I have no idea where she lives now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (1231)
On 11/07/2012 at 1:28pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19315) - you deserved it (1321)
On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 KM away to get away from them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (1225)
On 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by OhLovely (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12706) - you deserved it (4435)
On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14018) - you deserved it (1010)
On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico
Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16218) - you deserved it (3916)
On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States
Today, I overheard my mom talking on the phone with my sister about how much they hate my fiancé. My wedding is in two weeks and my family has been pretending to like my future husband for three years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14619) - you deserved it (1083)
On 11/05/2012 at 6:36am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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