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Saturday 3 November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28177) - you deserved it (3967)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, my boyfriend surprised me by showing up at my work and proposing to me. It was sweet until an angry customer bitched us out for "wasting her time." FML

#20141262
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (3274)

On 10/31/2012 at 2:18am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

#20156617
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:16pm - health - by dating a fking cnt (man) - Canada

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30907) - you deserved it (6527)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend of two years proposed to me. It would have been great if he weren't drunk with a naked girl next to him. FML

#20146861
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28918) - you deserved it (2040)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:50am - love - by bigbum - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (3747)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, I was woken up by my husband attempting to breastfeed off my lactating nipples. FML

#20139029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24410) - you deserved it (3044)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:22pm - misc - by Indianagirl94 (woman) - United States

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

#20147029
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13125) - you deserved it (26083)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)

Today, after I gave birth to our first child, my husband looked at the doctor and seriously asked, "When do you circumcise the baby?" We had a baby girl. FML

#20138333
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25559) - you deserved it (2425)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:32am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25219) - you deserved it (4329)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28271) - you deserved it (2197)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

#20140004
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29654) - you deserved it (3058)

On 10/30/2012 at 9:27am - love - by LonelyMe -

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

#20141343
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26246) - you deserved it (3328)

On 10/31/2012 at 6:06am - misc - by hakuna matata - United States (California)



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