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Saturday 27 October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16072) - you deserved it (4113)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6468) - you deserved it (44526)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I finally lost my virginity to my boyfriend. It hurt like hell, was over in less than a minute, and he tried to reuse the condom for a second round. FML

#20144932
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34437) - you deserved it (5145)

On 11/02/2012 at 9:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I went to the Natural History Museum with my boyfriend. While we were standing in front of real dinosaur bones, he told me he didn't believe in dinosaurs. FML

#20130407
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20777) - you deserved it (2359)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19pm - love - by SFra - United States

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28561) - you deserved it (1859)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw a folder on my son's PC named "PussyPictures". I sat him down for a talk, only to be told they contained pictures of the James Bond character Pussy Galore, for his essay about sexism in movies. He's now mocking me for "having a dirty mind". FML

#20135671
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8117) - you deserved it (30325)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:28pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16916) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28411) - you deserved it (5635)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20928) - you deserved it (5434)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML

#20130811
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23606) - you deserved it (2013)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States

Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML

#20137933
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (2911)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (2617)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)



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