Today, I accidentally kicked a can and it hit a man's shoe. He tried to kick it at me but his foot somehow failed to connect with the can. I could hear it rattling behind me as he failed again and again. So he decided to run up behind me and throw it at my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17080) - you deserved it (4532)
On 05/07/2012 at 10:08am - misc - by thepigeonsfriend (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I brought my girlfriend home while my parents were at work, and things got a little heated. We lost track of time, because the next thing we knew, my dad burst into the living room. He doubled over laughing and asked how much I paid her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19913) - you deserved it (3805)
On 05/08/2012 at 4:46pm - intimacy - by mal (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13570) - you deserved it (6075)
On 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4285) - you deserved it (18550)
On 05/01/2012 at 10:27pm - misc - by BoomHeadshot (woman) - Australia
Today, my parents left on a trip. I wanted to invite my girlfriend over for a few days so we could spend them together. Then my grandparents turn up, "just for a few days, until your parents return, so you won't be alone in this big house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17849) - you deserved it (2307)
On 05/03/2012 at 12:39am - love - by homealone (man) - Canada
Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15424) - you deserved it (2192)
On 05/06/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I called my mum, crying because of my low self-esteem. She interrupted my sobs by saying, "Can I hang up now? The phone's getting hot." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14527) - you deserved it (3822)
Today, while trying to kill a spider in my kitchen, I thought it would be wise to throw a bottle at it. The bottle hit the wall, bounced off the fridge and hit me in the face. The lucky spider crawled away, and is surely still laughing somewhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5654) - you deserved it (17232)
On 05/05/2012 at 1:01am - animals - by lexii - United States
Today, I was in a gas station bathroom attempting to buy a condom from the machine on the wall. A woman who smelled of cat piss walked in, and I got embarrassed so I fled into a stall. She then started a conversation with me about "the good old days" from the next stall over. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11300) - you deserved it (2002)
On 05/01/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Megannn (woman) - United States
Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15767) - you deserved it (2107)
On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States
Today, I fell asleep during a job interview as it was taking place over the phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6215) - you deserved it (16721)
On 04/30/2012 at 9:28am - work - by jobless (woman) - United States
Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15530) - you deserved it (1312)
On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States
Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14081) - you deserved it (1473)
On 05/02/2012 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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