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July 2013

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Today, my pre-teen brother has started using the entire Axe line because he believes that it will give him an "edge with the ladies". He insists on using the products at least three times a day, including before bedtime. I'm allergic to anything that is perfumed. We share a room. FML

#20790014
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48644) - you deserved it (3329)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I Did A Photoshoot With My Boyfriand And His Buddy. Wa Drova Out To Tha Countrysida And Sat Up On Top Of A Hill. My Boyfriand Kapt Having Ma Mova Furthar And Furthar Back. I Avantually Fall And Rolld Down Tha Staap Hill, Whila Ha And His Buddy High-fivd Aach Othar. FML

#20808454
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47666) - you deserved it (6963)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm - misc - by -_- (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML

#20784153
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50248) - you deserved it (3452)

On 07/15/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by leeceetaylor99 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was getting freaky with mah boyfriend an told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me to tell him what to do. Continuing, I askd him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replid, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56361) - you deserved it (12018)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, Mah Mom Got Drunk An Punched Me In The Nose, Then Yelled At Me For Bleeding On The Carpet. FML

#20777221
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55718) - you deserved it (4341)

On 07/12/2013 at 3:22am - misc - by ouch (man) - United States

Today mah family and I visited mah cousins in Virginia!! When we arrived we found that they already had guests over!! I've stuttered mahhole life sohen they asked mehat mah name was I stuttered fir several seconds trying to say mah name!! Everyone burst out laughing!! FML

#20805698
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52348) - you deserved it (3417)

On 07/27/2013 at 12:47am - misc - by Odnel (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today... my therapist told me to write any negative thoughts that I had on a piece of paper and then set fre to it. When I lit it in the trash can... huge flames broke out and I had to throw the trash can out my window to keep from setting my house on fre. FML

#20775563
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28899) - you deserved it (37573)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I had to help mah constipatd dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today mah grlfriend and I attempted some bondage 4 the frst time. Within seconds of the handcuffs being putted on I went into a serious panic attack. I was playing the dominant; mah grlfriend was the one in cuffs. FML

#20806809
117 comments

Today, I had a job interview. All was going well until the interviewer asked me, ( So,hy should we hire you? ) Without thinking, I blurted out, ( Because, I'm awesome! ) Don't think I'll be getting that one. FML

Today, my phone went off, reminding me to take my birth control . Instead of vibrating as per usual, it rang . The ringtone had been changed to my boyfriend singing "It's birth control time, birth control time, take your pill, or I'll say it ain't mine." I was sitting in a quiet waiting room . FML

#20805312
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56353) - you deserved it (9340)

On 07/26/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by turning red - United States

2day I was in a restroom reading looool this site hen another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands dried them nodded at me then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so werd except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

#20784458
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48943) - you deserved it (8122)

On 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, mah girlfriend decided to let me know that she almost left me fir another guy not so long ago, cuz he was more handsome an talented than me. The reason she didn't leave: ( He's out of mah league; your not. ) FML

#20777616
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49690) - you deserved it (4049)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:53pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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