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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, in my psychology class we were covering OCDs. I have an issue with creased paper and my best friend brought it up, so for the next hour my class mates sat screwing up paper to see how long I could continuously have a panic attack. FML

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32613) - you deserved it (5278)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my ex-boyfriend, with whom I'm still madly in love, called me and begged me to come back to him. In shock, I asked, "Is this some kind of joke?" He giggled, said yes, and then promptly hung up. FML

#20595377
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57594) - you deserved it (6497)

On 04/15/2013 at 10:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, six weeks before my wedding, my mother decided to claim that she never agreed on paying for it and that she doesn't think she will. Now I have six weeks to scavenge enough cash for the wedding she planned in the first place. FML

#20626669
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50207) - you deserved it (4069)

On 04/28/2013 at 12:29am - money - by need_cash_now (man) - United States

Today, my school announced its senior motto for the year. For the second year in a row, it's "YOLO". FML

#20586452
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47695) - you deserved it (5459)

On 04/12/2013 at 1:21pm - misc - by it's a wonder I'm not illiterate as fuck - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my husband rejected sleeping with me because he wants to "save his energy" for building his custom car. Apparently, I'm a "distraction." FML

#20615528
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44083) - you deserved it (5920)

On 04/23/2013 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45719) - you deserved it (3731)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my school took part in a standardized state test. After finishing, I decided to take a nap, only to be awoken by the test monitor, who wanted me to leave. Apparently, I was ferociously farting in my sleep and was disturbing the people still taking the test. FML

#20618481
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56944) - you deserved it (12759)

On 04/24/2013 at 3:14pm - misc - by Skyler - United States

Today, I overheard my grandpa telling my mom he'd found a load of porn in my laptop's browser history, but that he deleted all the "filth" so she wouldn't have to see it. She believed him and I got grounded, much to his amusement. I've never looked up porn on that computer in my life. FML

#20623130
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40095) - you deserved it (2703)

On 04/26/2013 at 1:34pm - misc - by thats what my ipod is for (man) - United States

Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43718) - you deserved it (18772) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

Today, I was at University when a giant mascot started walking in my direction. As they walked past, they whispered my name seductively. I still don't know who it was. FML

#20578916
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36229) - you deserved it (4904)

On 04/07/2013 at 10:51am - work - by confused - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I told him I was close to having an orgasm. He smirked and started talking like Yoda, saying, "Strong with the cum, this one is". Orgasm gone. FML

#20583515
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51363) - you deserved it (8251)

On 04/10/2013 at 12:32pm - intimacy - by iwassoclose - United States

Today, I was discussing possible career choices with my relatives. Pretty much everyone expressed the belief that I'm screwed for life, with my grandma commenting later: "She ain't even got the tits for porn. God help her." FML

#20577745
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42871) - you deserved it (3964)

On 04/06/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by flea-bitten (woman) - United States



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