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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to leave my ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up my drunken father from his best friend's baby shower. I picked him up along with a bill for the damage. FML

#20488845
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (1827)

On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States

Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML

#20509000
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30416) - you deserved it (2902)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03am - kids - by Scarlett (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assured her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and mugged me. FML

#20505342
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38371) - you deserved it (4331)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I walked into my dad straightening my dog's fur. His excuse? The dog needed to feel pretty. FML

#20513110
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24420) - you deserved it (3455)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend of almost six years asked me to move in with him. I assumed he meant that he was finally moving out of his parents' house and had found a place for us to live. No, it turns out he means he wants me to move in with him at his parents' place. FML

#20519650
74 comments

Today, the guy I like asked me out for the first time. It's a good thing he did it over Facebook, because I started shaking and almost threw up. I don't know how I'm going to function on our date next week. FML

#20514506
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25261) - you deserved it (6839)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:31am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after spending six months completely repainting and redecorating our new home, I finally finished the last touches and went to remove the masking tape. Off came the tape, along with huge blotches of plasterwork. FML

#20503623
92 comments

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27239) - you deserved it (4683)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

#20493202
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (5105)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

#20490841
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22059) - you deserved it (1522)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my downstairs neighbours screamed at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up and made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to my bathroom, and again on my way back to bed. They've sworn to get me evicted. FML

#20497288
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27134) - you deserved it (1976)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29587) - you deserved it (2478)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today, I was taking a stroll in our yard, when my mother decided it would be hilarious to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (2890)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)



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