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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I blew a huge gum bubble. My cat was on my lap and decided to shove her face in the bubble. There's gum all over her, and I still have scars from the last time I tried bathe her. FML

#20484695
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24863) - you deserved it (9198)

On 01/29/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28092) - you deserved it (1991)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

#20473479
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38268) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm - kids - by Female (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

#20442461
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20584) - you deserved it (7011)

On 01/04/2013 at 11:59am - kids - by Raela (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I opened the door to go out for groceries. Lying on my doorstep was a pile of poop. A piece of paper was taped to the ground beside it that read, "Do it again and you'll get more than dog shit." I don't have the slightest clue who I pissed off, or how. FML

#20455625
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33026) - you deserved it (3223)

On 01/12/2013 at 5:02pm - misc - by fucking mafia or what?? (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was trying to sleep away a fever, when my grandma woke me up. She was sitting next to me, shoving gummy bears into my mouth until I started choking. She laughed, ran away, and denied everything. FML

#20486320
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36204) - you deserved it (2992)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:59pm - health - by cay - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

#20444637
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (1547)

On 01/06/2013 at 5:01am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35028) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML

#20451316
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29234) - you deserved it (11137)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

#20473717
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27127) - you deserved it (2175)

On 01/22/2013 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML

#20472782
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32005) - you deserved it (5135)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:39am - kids - by dani0810 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed and suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28926) - you deserved it (2387)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, both my car and my father's car were broken into. They stole my radio, purse, wallet, camera, and multiple items of clothing. What did they take from my dad's car? Some screwdrivers to rip my radio out of my dash. FML

#20443271
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20149) - you deserved it (4816)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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