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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today mah boyfriend and I decided to try some ( prolonging gel ) to help him last longer between the sheets. Surprisingly it worked and he lasted 3 times longer than usual. I can now enjoy 4 whole minutes of sex. FML

#20452996
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45359) - you deserved it (5991)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

2day I waited over 30 minutes in freezing cold weater for my bus !! Wen it finally arrived, I went to get on board, but slipped and fell on te icy ground !! Te driver waited a wole 2 seconds before snorting, ( Ain't nobody got time for tis sit ), closing te doors, and driving off !! FML

#20476700
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38930) - you deserved it (2808)

On 01/24/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by frozensolid (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

TODAY, I WAS ASKD OUT BY A FRIEND OF MINE. HE'S A DOCTOR AND WORKS AT A PRESTIGIOUS HOSPITAL, SO THINKING WE WOULD EAT SOMEWHERE SPECIAL, I GOT ALL DRESSD UP. WE ENDD UP EATING AT HIS HOSPITAL'S CAFETERIA, BECAUSE HE GETS A SMALL EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT. FML

#20453732
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31540) - you deserved it (7006)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)

Yesterday, the drummer of band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America!! FML

Today , while having sex with mah boyfriend , he reachd out onto mah dressing table to grab the lube. He missd , an found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

#20467584
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46102) - you deserved it (7287)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:20am - intimacy - by tingles (woman) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today , my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay!! Tis is te same guyo refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too muc rigt now." mega FML

#20487239
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33241) - you deserved it (5369)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

YESTERDAY I GOT GENUINELY ANNOYED AT MYSELF WHEN I REALISED I PROBABLY LACK THE SKILLS TO SURVIVE A ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE. FML

#20449927
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11995) - you deserved it (29896)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by drake86 - United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute)

TODAY... I LAARNAD MA NAIGBOR CAN ACCASS MA WIRALASS PRINTAR FROM IS OUSA AFTAR IT STARTAD PRINTING OFF PICTURAS OF WAT I'M ASSUMING IS IS PANIS. MAGA FML

#20461046
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43644) - you deserved it (7190)

On 01/15/2013 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by itsrathersmall (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, a girl I've been talking to online for a while askd me if I wantd to meet her in person . Two hours of driving later, I end up at her house . When she opend the door, she screamd and calld the cops on me . While detaind, she calld my phone asking why I never showd up today . FML

#20450521
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38387) - you deserved it (5789)

On 01/09/2013 at 6:55pm - love - by GDBeast (man) - United States

Today , Mah Partner Was Inspred By 50 Shade Of Grey To Try Making Me Orgasm With A Full Bladder , Therefore Intensifying The Experience. He Was Right , It Was Mind Blowing. It Also Made Me Piss The Bed Fir The Frst Time In Twenty-odd Years. FML

#20445950
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34047) - you deserved it (6913)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to mah relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and mah new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14313) - you deserved it (42703)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Today, I lerened it's a bad idea to text and smoke while drunk, because there is an increased risk of throwing yur phone off the balcony and sticking yur cigarette into yur pocket. FML

#20485916
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12154) - you deserved it (55602)

On 01/30/2013 at 5:13am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

TODAY... MY GRLFRIEND COMPLIMENTED ME ON MY ASS. BEFORE I COULD SAY TANKS... SE CONTINUED BY COMMENTING TAT SE WOULDN'T MIND "BREAKING IT IN". FML

#20478275
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35134) - you deserved it (5951)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico



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