Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32283) - you deserved it (2704)
On 12/31/2012 at 5:36pm - work - by shattysituation - United States
Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32574) - you deserved it (2715)
On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38097) - you deserved it (2966)
On 12/30/2012 at 1:29am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)
Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22715) - you deserved it (1914)
On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36721) - you deserved it (8089)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14591) - you deserved it (1117)
On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States
Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15464) - you deserved it (1841)
On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20544) - you deserved it (4915)
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29858) - you deserved it (2760)
On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11115) - you deserved it (38452)
On 12/27/2012 at 4:47am - misc - by ashprove611 - United States (New York)
Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML
I agree, your life sucks (15619) - you deserved it (11894)
On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31158) - you deserved it (2170)
On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)
Today, I received a package from a local guy on Craigslist. Instead of the iPhone I paid $350 for, the box only contained a photo of an iPhone. The guy had been dumb enough to attach a return address, so my husband went over and beat the shit out of him. I now have to bail him out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32540) - you deserved it (8442)
On 12/23/2012 at 12:52pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Monday 20 May 2013
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