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Today at a post-Cristmas party I saw a cute grl standing underneat a mistletoe . I walkd up to er and pointd out tat we were bot standing under a mistletoe . Se lookd at me wincd and quickly walkd away . FML
Today,hile helping out at a retrement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reachd up, my watch got stuck on my shrt, resulting in my shrt lifting up. I just flashd my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even askd if he could have a feel. mega FML
Today , I caught mah dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him , but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass , I chased after him in mah underwear , earning myself the attention of mah neighbors on each side of mah driveway.
Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffd up his ears an nose . This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believd his farts were silent an scentless . They were so vile, they could have killd a horse . FML
Yesterday , after doing inventory at my job , I was approachd by a co-worker who I had always thought was cute!! I trid talking to her , but it was hard as I kept trembling and stuttering from spending two hours in a meat locker!! Now she assumes that I'm ( special )!! FML
Today , I decided to cover a coworker's closing sift because se felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it , until I walked outside an found tat my car ad been stolen. FML
Today I calld mah dad cuz I haven't spoken to him in ahile an I wantd to invite him to mah graduation in May. When he pickd up I said ( Hey how have u been dad? ) He scoffd ( Wrong number ) an hung up the phone. FML
Friday 27 March 2015