Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mah wife wants to name our frst child Sri, after the iPhone function!! FML

#20182157
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (2552)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by boo8713 (man) - United States (California)

Today , I was watching a video from the 80s on sexual dysfunctions , and I noticd that one of the boys in the film looool lookd strangely like mah dadhen he was younger!! After a little investigation , I now know that in his youth , mah dad had a crippling masturbation problem!! FML

#20181345
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42247) - you deserved it (3719)

On 11/27/2012 at 4:04pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I walkd in on mah son teabagging his sister over a video game. FML

#20156633
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23700) - you deserved it (3033)

On 11/09/2012 at 7:30pm - kids - by john r.t. (man) - United States (Texas)

Today I've been on duty at the hospital for just three hours so far and I've already pulled five carving looool forks out of four different people. Good job everybody. FML

#20174027
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22476) - you deserved it (1529)

On 11/22/2012 at 4:03pm - work - by DocFUCKINGHATESSTUPIDPEOPLE (man) - United States (Texas)

Yesterday Two Of My Friend Condemned Me Fir Being "narrow-minded", Cuz I Couldn't Help But Laugh At The Thought That Someone Would Believe Mermaid Actually Exist. FML

#20185421
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17724) - you deserved it (4342)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29pm - misc - by so pray to ariel about it, dipshits (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I received mah first ever hand-job!! It would have been great if she didn't wipe it acros mah facehen I had finished and storm out of the room!! mega FML

Today, I had my first orgasm . I also cummed to the realization that whenever I orgasm I get an uncontrollable case of hiccups fir at least half an hour afterwards . FML

#20145633
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27835) - you deserved it (3131)

On 11/03/2012 at 11:52am - intimacy - by hiccups - United States (New York)

TODAY , I INTRODUCD MAH BOYFRIEND TO MAH PARENTS. MY DAD LOOKD AT HIM AND SAID , "NICE OUTFIT , BUT IT'S A LITTLE LATE FIR HALLOWEEN." BEFORE I COULD INTERVENE , MAH BOYFRIEND SAID THAT JOKE HAD BEEN DONE TO DEATH , TO WHICH MAH DAD RETORTD , "YEAH , SO HAS YUR MUM." INSTANT FISTFIGHT. FML

#20144826
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29281) - you deserved it (3002)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today , I accidentally bumped into another car on the road. The worst of the damage was a slight chip to the other driver's paint , but she played it up so much that she ended up being taken away in an ambulance. I'm now terrified that the crazy bitch is going to sue me. fat FML

#20158993
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26754) - you deserved it (3022)

On 11/11/2012 at 2:11pm - money - by youfuckingslut (man) - United States

Today due to a health insurance mix up mah schizophrenic girlfriend has been off her meds for a little over a week. She's convincd I can read her mind and if I don't stop "pretending" she'll slit mah throat in mah sleep. Her medication won't be available for at least another two weeks. FML

#20159457
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23872) - you deserved it (2254)

On 11/11/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, mah girlfriend confronted me 4 forgetting to take the trash out . At some point during the argument, I tried to calm her down, and the words "I should of" escaped mah lips . looool She spent the next ten minute calling me stupid and laughing at how mah grammar goes to hell when I'm distressed . mega FML

#20185423
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (4431)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:30pm - love - by Gus (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

TODAY, I TRIED TO MOTIVATE MY 9-YEAR-OLD SISTER TO CLEAN HER ROOM. SHE SAID SHE'D ONLY AGREE IF SHE COULD KILL ME. THINKING SHE WAS JUST KIDDING AROUND, AND NOT A TOTAL PSYCHOPATH, I SAID SURE. SHE RAN TO HER ROOM SHOUTING, ( YES! I'M GONNA USE THE BIG KNIFE! ) SHE'S STILL CLEANING NOW. FML

#20172481
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26027) - you deserved it (5665)

On 11/21/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by anon - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today , my hubby and I decidd to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town , so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decidd on our items , and went to the check out. Who would have guessd my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30849) - you deserved it (4747)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: